FILM TALK: The former king of camp, John Waters, appears live in person tonight, bringing his one-man "vaudeville" show to the Castro. Tonight's show focuses "on Waters' early negative artistic influences and his fascination with true crime, exploitation films, fashion lunacy, and the extremes of the contemporary art world, this joyously devious monologue is a must-see for Waters' fans." Find out more here. In all seriousness, folks, this filmmaker is genius in person. Do check him out if you can.

7: 30 p.m. // Castro Theatre (Castro & Market) // $20-25

LITQUAKE: Print-publishing elitists (we kid!) Tom Perrotta (Election and Little Children), Katherine Taylor (Rules for Saying Goodbye), Eric Puchner (Music Through the Floor), and Steve Yarbrough will compete to see who's pen is bigger at tonight's Opium Magazine’s Literary Death Match, a night Come for the bon mots throwdown, stay to ask Perrotta if Reese Witherspoon was a complete bitch on the set of Election. (For more info about the Litquake festival, go here.)

9 p.m. // Rickshaw Stop (155 Fell) // $15