It's back. At this time every year, thee Moscone Center and St. Regis area gets stained with the Oracle OpenWorld conference. Last year we tried getting in, but were met with unhappy PR reps who ripped away our chances of getting into any open-bar parties, catered affairs, and a show featuring the bewitching Stevie Nicks by simply hanging up on our asses. This year, since our ego is fragile as century-old bone china, we didn't even try.

But if any of you, dear readers, get the opportunity to enter the hallowed halls of Howard Street, which is closed off to you plebeians, take a few photos and send them our way, won't you? We're dying to know what goes on inside that big tent. We hear that Gavin Newsom -- grateful that the annual conference "helping enterprises understand and harness the power of information and use Oracle software to achieve better business results" is back again, dumping cash into the city -- personally performs fellatio on each and every conventioneer. Please advise. (CBS 5)

Oh, and the traffic scene downtown is going to be a mess. After the jump, check out exactly how.

SFMTA ANNOUNCES TRAFFIC IMPACTS FOR ORACLE WORLD

San Francisco—The San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) advises San Francisco residents and visitors of traffic impacts expected during Oracle Open World, which will occur at the Moscone Center from Sunday, September 21 through Thursday, September 25, 2008. More than 40,000 attendees are expected to attend the event.

Howard Street is scheduled to be closed between Third Street and Fourth Street continuously for nine days beginning at 8:00 p.m. on Thursday, September 18, until 8:00 p.m. on Friday, September 26 to accommodate the event. In previous years the closure has lifted as early as 3:00 p.m. on the final Friday.

Significant traffic congestion is anticipated in and around Moscone Center between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. daily for the duration of the closure. Additionally, the San Francisco Giants will host four home games at 7:15 p.m., starting on Tuesday, September 23. Motorists are encouraged to take public transit or use alternate routes.

Howard Street primary detour routes:

For those traveling westbound on Howard Street, the detour will direct traffic south on 2nd Street to Harrison Street.

For those traveling from north of Market on Montgomery, the detour will direct southbound traffic from New Montgomery, westbound on Howard, and south on Hawthorne to either Folsom or Harrison.

Detour signs and traffic message boards are installed along Howard Street and the detour routes. Caltrans will also activate message signs on major freeways entering the city to notify motorists of the closure.

SFMTA Parking Control Officers and San Francisco Police Officers will be deployed at key intersections prior to and during the closure.

The SFMTA's Parking and Traffic Division and Muni Operations have worked closely with the Mayor's Office, the San Francisco Police Department and the San Francisco Fire Department in developing the traffic control plan. Attached is a detailed PDF of the event location showing detour routes provided by the Oracle World event
organizers.