(Comic Sans is mediocrity honed to a horrific razor tip.)

* San Diego vs San Francisco
Friday, August 29, 7:00 PM PST
Preseason Week 4
The Battle Of The Rivalry-That-Isn't

It's the final preseason game of 2008, with all its attendant stress/ennui.

Some gents will be fighting tooth-and-nail to glom onto their roster's final spot. Others will be full throttle-down, simply not wantin' to get hurt for sake of the regular season.

As is some-sort-of tradition, the 49ers are matched with the Chargers for the last preseason contest. Y'know, trying to stoke some-sort-of interstate rivalry and all.

Feh; hain't no rivalry. Niner fans will always hold Super Bowl XXIX over the heads of SD fans.

Also 'cause the Niners of the now can't compete with the Chargers of the now.

As they've been over the past couple seasons, the Chargers are good; but whatevs. They ain't elite.

Upper photo via chargers.com. Lower photo via mtv.com. And no, there will be no "Stay Classy San Diego" references. No.

Oh, so you could win the AFC West? So what? The fatal flaw in SD's current crest of success (since the 2004 season) is that the SuperChargers can't close the deal.

Diagnosis? Great personnel yoked by questionable-to-bad coaching.

And in 2008 this trend holds... in-spades. There's no way Norv will get you to the promised land as a Head Coach. Ever. It'd be more likely that the Republicans -- in the spirit of civility -- give up making petty patriotism smear attacks on Barack Obama for the remainder of the presidential campaign. Y'see?

On a brighter San Diego-related note, The Night Marchers are bringin' the rock 'n roll sound to SF's Bottom Of The Hill from "America's Finest City" next Thursday, September 4.

They're the latest band fronted by San Diegan musical swami John Reis (he of Rocket From The Crypt, Drive Like Jehu, Hot Snakes, and Pitchfork). And true-to-Reis'-form, The Night Marchers bring the deliciously-sneering hip-shakin' rock without apology or quarter-given.

And the Hawaiian ghost tale from which they take their name from? Chilling. If the ghostly procession of night marchers see you -- and you're not able to fool them into thinking you're asleep -- you die.

Back here in California, after this final preseason game comes the final roster cut a'fore the sweet possibility of the regular season. With it, many young men will take their final march out the locker room and into the afterlife of NFL free agency.