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This one has been making the rounds today. We see why. It is most awesome/unfair depending on your perspective or zip code. See, alleged parking hog Omar found the above note tucked under his windshield in Noe Valley. It reads, ahem:
You are selfishly consuming 2 parking spaces. How Berkeley. Think next time. Don't be so self centered. Space, as you should know by now, is hard to come by.May the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits.
First, it looks like San Francisco just found their new Poet Laureate. (Show yourself, anonymous scribe!)
Second, poor Berkeley. While, yes, it's true that people under the assumption that they're working for the greater good of humankind prefer treat people like crap on a one-on-one basis - and Berkeley has this mentality in spades, as does SF - is our East Bay sister really that bad when it comes to driving/parking? We just assumed the entire Bay Area didn't know who to drive.
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They also come preprinted.
Tickets [.PDF!!!!]
Love the discrepancy between handwriting styles. The curse is very Coming to America as said by Semmi played by Arsenio Hall.
"May the fleas of a thousand camels invade your armpits."
Love it!
passive aggressive hate criminals writing notes. I hope that Omar takes three spots next time.
HEY! It's hard to park those Volvos!
I started smiling just four words into it.
"Selfishly consuming"!
way to go brock!
i knew you couldn't drive
omar, learn how to park please.
it's one of the reasons i have to live up here, suckafree. i'd have to pull over on (the) 405 during fits of freeway panic when i was a teen.
Ha. It reminds me of the notes I leave for people with annoying car alarms. this note, however, lacks the expletives and dog shit I include with mine.
oh jeez, so dumb. how is that even berkeley? berkeley rocks. you can park facing the wrong direction!
Color me dense, but I still don't understand why taking up two cars' worth of sidewalk is a Berkeley thing. Likewise consideration for others on a one-to-one basis. Take, for example, crossing the street: in SF, you'd best look both ways twice to ensure a driver -- or Muni bus -- isn't going to ram into you while you're in the crosswalk, but in BKY, drivers will often proactively stop for you when they see you standing at the corner, waiting for them to pass.
What's with the constant anti-Berkeley sentiments, Brock? There's no reason to hate on all of Berkeley just because you went to UCSC. If anything, you should just join forces with us and hate on Stanford/Shallow Alto.
oh i have deep wells of spite for ucsc/santa cruz.
berkeley is just my fun stoner brother i like to tease.
I'm sure the car probably had a Berkeley residential parking permit sticker on it, which is what prompted the author.
Or maybe a UCB Alumni license plate frame...
We all need to get along and save our scorn for Southern California.
or lordy.
while not a grand as NorCal, SoCal is perfectly awesome in its own right. without SoCal, SF is Portland 2.0.
...and not in a good way.
the line about the fleas is a Johnny Carson punchline - Carnac the Magnificent, to be precise. Just sayin, parking nerd shouldn't get the credit.
@ChesterY
"shallowAlto"?! hArhar LOL
yup as a santa cruz 'loc' (born and raised and all that) now living in oakland, i love to hate on berkeley like it's nobodies business.
it's not really about the hippies though, it's about the cal students.
we know you go to cal, we can tell just by looking at your face. you don't need a cal sweatshirt, shorts, socks, a hat and a lanyard keychain all in blue and yellow.
Sorry Brock, but once again you are wrong (seriously man, do you have a daily quota of wrongness you have to fill or something?): nobody anywhere knows how to drive. True they all fail in different ways, but no matter where you go people simply cannot fucking drive.
Brock, it's true! The 405 can turn any rational and sane person into a homicidal maniac!!
people who live west of (the) 5 freeway in SoCal are considered the best drivers in the world. it's a proven fact.
It's so cute when people fight over which west coast school is better. It's like a fistfight over who gets to tie for 10th place.
nice one.
You think that's cute, wait till you see the uproar when the uni's bash state schools.
Class war!
What does this have to do with Tommy Hawk and the SFMOMA?
Oh wait, I have been thinking that it was TONY HAWK who was snapping photos of girls boobies in between grinding his board at Yerba Buena and smoking some yerba buena.
Never mind...
Assuming this is in regard to parallel parking, it is quite possible to park un-selfishly, only to have others park in front and/or back with too much space between, after the fact. This makes you look like the selfish one to those willing to jump to unfounded conclusions. If you didn't see the parking actually happen, you don't know, so remember we like be considered innocent until proven guilty.
That said, selfish parkers are depressing.
When I lived in Noe Valley around 2002, someone put a note on my car saying that I needed to get it washed because it was an eye sore in the neighborhood. Note that I did not own a truck covered with mud, but a Saab with dusty water marks from rain.
I couldn't believe it. Could be same the same twat. And I mean "twat" in a gender neutral fashion.