Your Locals On Reality TV: Big Brother Edition
We were a little perturbed to learn there was a local on the new season of "Big Brother," not because we weren't planning on watching every damn minute--believe us, we were--but because that's a lot of show to recap. Let's see how that local did, shall we?
The guy's name is Brian Hart, he was in the Air Force, and he's in telecommunications, which is to say, he sells cell phones. His introduction showed him playing basketball somewhere in the Marina. C'mon people. Someone out there has to know this guy and give us some dirt!
Brian went into the game running and was instantly manipulating people, forming an alliance and telling the Head of Household, Granpa Jerry, exactly who to nominate for eviction. On the one hand, this was good because one of the nominations was the big baby (and we mean BIG, as he's a "natural bodybuilder") Jessie. On the other hand, this was bad because the other nominee was New Orleans "socialite" Renny, who, yes, is kind of annoying too, but is also kind of awesome with her many wigs, headdresses, and crazy outfits. At one point in the interview room she was looking exactly like Norma Desmond.
During the Power of Veto competition, which involved bears, honey, and feather pillows, Big Baby Body Builder Jessie won, which meant Brian was back to his manipulations, convincing Jerry to put Memphis (!) on the block in Jessie's place. Brian's attempts at becoming an Evil Dr. Will 2 weren't really going over well with the girls in the house, who blew the whistle, and soon everyone was aware of Brian's manipulations, and dude. Bad move on his part. To be a successful manipulator you pretty much can't let people know that's what you're doing!
Soon Grandpa Jerry had a roomful of people telling him he needed to put up Brian instead because he's a big liar and was just using Jerry to do his dirty work. Come the Veto Ceremony Jerry decided not to wear any of his military paraphernalia (he's a Marine) because he was now going against his word to Brian and putting him on he block and he didn't want to embarrass the military with his duplicity. (Crawling through honey in his shorts and tank top is fine, though.)
Come eviction time there was all kinds of bullshit talk about people breaking their words, and how THEY would never lie and blah blah blah. Give us a break. It's a GAME. You're not there to make friends. You're there to win some money, and there's no way to do that by telling the truth.
Brian did his best to convince people he was a barrel of laughs, and if they voted him out, there wouldn't be any more fun in the house. Alas, his sock puppet show wasn't enough, and he was evicted out by a vote of nine to one. Ooooh. Once again a local bites it in the first week. Can't say we're going to miss recapping this every week, though. And we're also happy to get at least another week of crazy Renny...
As for the rest of our reality TV locals, well, we were on vacation last week, so we're backed up on "Shear Genius" episodes and frankly, are in no hurry to watch them. The show is boring. Also, there's a new season of "Project Runway" underway (yeah, already) and there's one contestant who grew up in Sacramento, but so far this season is far from inspiring, so we're gonna have to give it another episode before any decisions on recapping can be made. Ah, the lazy hazy days of summer...