Photo du Jour 516
Welcome Back! Um, Why Are You at Work Today?
Tiger Woods In "Serious" Condition After Car Crash
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Photos from Black Friday
SFist Interviews: John Ortved, Author of The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History
First, it's gorgeous outside today. If you're stuck at work today, then, well, we feel your pain. Second, we just received this pressing question in our inbox:
Help! How do i call in sick even though i'm not? i'm bad at lying.
Well, we cannot condone readers leaving work for reason of frivolity since that might mean a dip in traffic. But can you, dear readers, help this person out? Do you flatout lie? Build up an illness narrative? Or...?
(Us? We just don't show up on days we want off, and then accuse our boss of blatant homophobia if we're questioned as to our whereabouts. Works very well in SF.)
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there's no reason to lie. you have personal business that requires immediate attention, end of story. With personal business you're under no obligation, legally or ethically, to disclose what that entails.
Agreed.
Plus, 'personal business' is way more mysterious than 'food poisoning.'
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
they seldom ask for clarification - and donut want me around.
I only use it every 6 months or so.
with the unemployment problem you'd better just show up or you will be out of a job!
Then Karma will get you if you say you are sick and the next week you will be.
Noone does their job anymore so showing up is half the battle.
NOW GET TO WORK SLACKERS!
I eat rancid bacon then head into the office early. Once I puke it all out on the bosses floor he gladly sends me home. A little pepto bismol, a few glasses of water and it's off to Stinson!
The "we have to wait for the contractor/roofer/plumber/cable man" story can work, too. Although, I always defer to a bout with food poisoning.
Ok, so here's the trick to coming off really sick without having to prove it in person (eww by the way).
If you're calling in do it early when no one is in the office, even better if you can do it at some ungodly hour where no healthy person in their right mind is up. With today's tech everything is timestamped. 3-6am seems to work best...best time to email in a sick day too by the way. When you call lay on your back and lean your head over the edge of your bed. Makes you sound different but not forced. The only downside is if you show up the next day you have to act like you're still recovering. At least this is what I hear works...I mean as an HR type person I've never done anything like this.
OMG. I'm laughing so hard! RobInSF, that is hilarious and my boss thinks so too.
jportillo, very clever! I'm going to try that some time.
Resist the impulse to give TMI or lie: simply say "I need to take a sick day," which is not a lie like "I am sick" would be. If your boss persists with "Why?" (which they shouldn't, if they're a good manager), just respond with "It's private" or "I'm not comfortable discussing it with you," which always works whether you're taking a sick day or a "well" day.
Don't forget to wear sunblock! You don't want to come back from your "illness" tanned.
say you have a migraine. those are the worst and at least one person in your office get them.
Diarrea. It's the only excuse you'll ever need.
I'm going to stick with an old standby: my passed away last night.
I mean, you get up to 4 grandparents, and when those run out, aunts and uncles are next.
Only downside is that you can't act be overly chipper at work for about a week. But that's not too hard, because you'll be at work.
Meant to say: "My -insert relative here- passed away last night."
Luckily I can send emails that read I won't be in the office. No need to come up with an excuse. This morning I wanted to sleep another few hours so I emailed work and went back to bed until 10:30AM. The rest of the day I did fun things like buy $140 worth of alcohol.
It's been the best day off ever.