By Joe Kukura

Football, people! Unless you live under the worst toupee in sports broadcasting, you know that the NFL Draft was this weekend. Endless hours of live intrigue and analysis, both Saturday and Sunday, nonstop on two different cable channels – with no actual sports of any sort being played at all. Just your NFL team’s future stars or GHB scofflaws being selected and introduced in front of the unpredictable rowdies assembled at Radio City Music Hall.

49er and Raider fans – whaddaya think of the new guys? Highlight reels for both top picks, compiled by SportsIllustrated.com (with perfectly clichéd narration and hilariously Alan Parsons-sounding background music) can be enjoyed below.

Electrifying first pick for Raider fans…Arkansas running back Darren McFadden brings terrific gadget-play potential and an arsenal of innovative, entertaining touchdown celebration dances. Plenty of reasonable people think he was the best player in the draft. I already can’t wait for the season to start to see how the Raiders manage to screw this one up.

The 49ers had the substantially-less-awesome #29 pick, and historically that selection is pretty much cursed. Dimitrius Underwood (in prison) and R. Jay Soward (in “every rehab centre known to man”) have also gone in the #29 slot… and those are the guys you’ve heard of. Here’s wishing better luck to new 49er Kentwan Balmer, the UNC defensive tackle whom no one seems to think will contribute anytime soon.