SFist Watches: Your Locals On Reality TV

Quick Fire! The guest judge was Koren Grieveson of Chicago's Avec. The competition was to create a dish that paired perfectly with beer. They had to choose a beer, and then create their dish. Jen chose Landshark lager because she thinks her faux hawk resembles a shark fin, (uh, yeah) and Ryan chose Bass ale because he thinks his hair resembles a bass. Also, Jen let it be known that she is doing this for Zoi, with almost as much passion as Matt Dillon did it for Johnny in The Outsiders!

No idea what Ryan made, but it involved lamb, and maybe a crepe. Jennifer made shrimp and scallop beignets with fennel, avocado, and pepper pureees. Mmmmmn. Beignets. Judge Koren hated Nikki's breaded shrimp, Spike's chacuterie plate--much the visible delight of Jen, and Dale's pork tenderloin dusted with pretzel crumbs--much to the delight of Lisa. Jen was pronounced the winner, and won immunity. Do it for Zoi!

They were then told about the Elimination Challenge, which was an individual challenge. They'd be cooking at a tailgate party at the Bears game at Soldier Field. Dale was stoked because he's from Chicago, and loves da Bears. Jen was excited because she's doing this for Zoi! At Asswhole Foods, there was a run for ribs, wings, and shrimp, much to the chagrin of Kiwi, who wanted to do shrimp on the barbie. Ryan admitted he's not a sports fan--he's a metrosexual! He likes to go out and dance! He likes nice clothes! So he decided to do "California style" tailgate, which involved chicken thighs, a dessert AND a spike hot chocolate. Jen said she was always surrounded by football, and her dad loves football, so she was excited about the challenge. She went with a Greek-inspired dish, because she's doing this for Zoi!

Back at Chez Chef, Dale ironed his apron, and Spike and Kiwi took a bubble bath together.

Tailgate time! Paul Kahan, also of Avec, was the guest judge, and he and Padma, Gail, and Tom were all wearing their Bears jerseys like total dorks. There were three former Bears there, flanking Dale, but the only name we recognized was William "The Refrigerator" Perry. And let it be known, he hasn't gotten any smaller since retirement. Ryan worked the crowd, but could he impress the judges much with his bread salad with marinated chicken thighs, and sides of poached pear, and brandy cocoa topped with marshmallows? Meanwhile Twitchy McTwit was wearing a goddamn football helmet while he cooked, and one of the former Bears asked him, "Why you got the helmet on?" when you know he really wanted to ask, "Why you such an asshole?" And then when Twitchy tried to take the helmet off, he couldn't. HA!

One of the Bears was a little afraid of Jen's quinoa tabbouleh, asking her if it was safe. Ha! Kiwi Mark was a disaster, with a totally disheveled work area, and sloppy food. Nikki made onions and peppers. That's it. Seriously. She bought sausage and buns, and sauteed some onions and peppers, and then ran out peppers when the judges showed up! They were irked to learn that she didn't make the sausage, and really there's no excuse for that. She had HOURS the previous day. What did she spend her time on? Slicing onions and peppers? Sooo unimpressed with her.

Judgement time! Stephanie, Antonia, and Dale were the top three, with Dale winning. He also won a jersey and a Weber grill, which caused him to actually crack a smile. Then he sent in the bottom three of Nikki, Mark, and Ryan. Uh-oh!

The judges told them they scored lowest with the crowds. Nikki was taken to task once again for not making her sausage, and the judges thought the whole dish was rather dry as well. She had also made shrimp, which was totally incongruous. They pondered Ryan's addition of a dessert, particularly the choice of poached pear. And then Ryan went on and on about why he did what he did, and how the people there loved it, and ladies were coming up asking for his recipe, and he was thinking outside the tailgate menu, dissecting usual tailgate food, and he wanted to bring a little California to the table, and he's an Aries, and likes long walks on the beach, romantic movies, and cuddling in the mornings. Dude. STOP TALKING. As for Mark, the judges just thought his food wasn't very good, his presentation was a mess, andto top it off, he had tasted a spoon, and then stuck it back in the pot of corn chowder. So, after the usual trashing of the dishes, the judges called them back in. Aaaaand....told Ryan to pack his knives and go.

What BULLSHIT! It doesn't matter how inappropriate his food was for a tailgate party, at least he actually cooked something, and created a dish. Seriously? Nikki's stupid sausage and peppers were better? Guess Ryan would have been better off buying some rotisseries chickens and stuffing them between some bread. And we're not just saying this because Ryan is some serious eye candy. This week was a total crock.

Anyway, he was gracious about it, and cried a little when saying good-bye, and even though he referred to his dish as "Ryan Scott tailgate food," we're still sad to see him go. Looks like Jen is the only local left in the pot. Let's hope she'll now do it for Zoi and Ryan!

All images from Bravo.com.