While we've been tsk-tsking almost any and all April Fool's Day hilarity clogging the Internets today, we found this one to be kind of cool. Fellow banana slug, Alex Clemens, has linguistically transformed The Usual Suspects into Yoda-speak. Take, for example, what he did to today's Olympic torch route reveal:

MANY PATHS THERE ARE. CHOOSE WISELY. Shall you take the flame to the Marina? Or the path of the tall buildings? Choose not Alcatraz, as swim you must, and cold and wet it will be. And read you shall of the two Senators arguing of the same event, talking of their different views. Leaders of politics, so are their ways.

And le Chris Daly:

A GREAT BATTLE LIES AHEAD The Daly leader speaks of places where fumes may still be inhaled, though hidden away they be. Seeks to hide them further, he does. Angry inhalers shall invade the Hall of our City, I foresee. Ex 0401

Who knew he was such an adorable nerd? (We going to assume he was a Porter student.) Anyway, we love it.