April 1, 2008
SOMA Sexual Outlaw Invasion Angers Resident(s), Pleasures Others
South of Market is home to one of the largest networks (with the fewest dropped calls?) of queer-friendly businesses in San Francisco. It has been this way for decades and doesn't appear to be changing. Or is it?
We stumbled upon the year-long saga regarding the relocation of Hole in the Wall Saloon while perusing various Web sites pertaining to our relevant local interests and businesses:
Presently, a woman nearby on Dore Alley, still refusing to meet with us after all this time, has sworn to stop our pub from ever opening, actually terming gays in the neighborhood "sexual outlaws" who would "invade my neighborhood."
Our fact checking reveals that the rumors are indeed true: SOMA is being invaded by sexual outlaws.
How does one stop this from occurring? Don't panic. We're certain that this pressing issue is on everyone's minds and have thus compiled a handy do-it-yourself guide to preventing "OH NO! GAY INVASION!" from coming to your neighborhood:
- Make sure you're indigent so that you have unlimited disposable taxpayer-provided income and time without that pesky 9-to-5 nonsense to get in your way.
- Be sure to toss in your disability card to ensure that government agencies will bend over backwards for your agenda.
- File appeal after appeal to every agency possible if anything remotely close to the gay agenda puts up the required public notices that they are coming to your area. Be heard! Schedule hearings! It is your right and responsibility as a queer/homo/transphobic individual to take matters into your own hands.
- File continuances for hearings or just don't show up to scheduled hearings. NO! Don't go! You know you'll want to be there, but this is a key part of your agenda. It will cause hearings to be delayed further, thus forcing owners of queer businesses to waste more time and money. Remember, your time and money is unlimited and disposable, so don't worry about that. Your agenda is to bankrupt the sexual outlaws.
Mission accomplished!
Or, again, is it? In the case of Hole in the Wall, we'll find out during the Planning Department Board of Appeals hearing on Wednesday, April 2, at 5:00PM. This will be at City Hall, Room 416. Whether you're fan or foe of Gay Invasion, we highly suggest showing up to this event so that you too can learn how to prevent the spread of sexual outlaws into your neighborhood.
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meanwhile, despite every effort by well meaning bike organizations in the city, we still cannot manage to get new bike lanes striped, or even any fucking new bike racks put in.
gays, blacks, muslims -- none of us will ever truly know the plight of the sf cyclist. sob.
I wanna be a sexual outlaw. That sounds fucking hawt!
Everybody knows that Dore Alley is a hot bed of christian fundamentalists..... DORE ALLLEY!!!!!!!!!! what made her move there??
@daithi: Um, Jesus?
I'm headed to Dore Alley to have a PEE right NOW!
i love searching images for "dore alley" on google. she should have done the same!
Dude, perverts made SOMA. They'll never drive us out.
Can we take up the problem of the invasion of disabled people after this? They're transportation outlaws.
i want to be a transportation outlaw.
@Brock:
Wait, you're actually comparing the "plight" of gays with African Americans and Muslim Americans?
Wow. Just wow.
alert("KILL ALL THE HOMO GAY FAGS!!!!!!");
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i didn't, you did.
pls re-read.
gays, blacks, muslims -- none of us
Seems pretty clear to me.
What does 'queer friendly' mean? Which bars in the city are unfriendly? This is a real question.
Which bars in the city are unfriendly? This is a real question.
The Dogs Bollix = unfriendly.
My new neighbourhood could use a gay invasion. Sigh.
Also, cancerface, what the fuck are you talking about?
i mean i love a good grimy gay bar as much as the next.. but stricktly speaking.. isnt getting a back alley rimjob a dore alley the definition of "sexual outlaw"? in that its both.. sexual and illegal? I think the tagging of this as "homophobic" is a bit .. reactionary.
I dont find "sexual outlaw" offensive at all, and would bet that a good percentage of the dore alley crew actually thrive on transgression for their kicks.
How is wanting to keep promiscuous sex (heterosexual, homosexual, whatever) out of your neighborhood a bad thing? I don't see this as trans/homo/queerphobic, this is about morality and basic decency which a large amount of the San Francisco nightlife seems to toss out the window.
Good lord is this woman going to be unhappily surprised come July.
*snaps* to doctor memory. I've worked dore alley as part of an organization that it gives money to, for the past 2 years and i always do the set up crew so I am gone before the sun rises and the clothes are shed. while I bet its awesome for those who enjoy it, it has always been a bit too much for me.
I really don't understand how people don't understand that the gay experience of "oppression" is not the same as the plight of African Americans and Muslim Americans as Brock implied with his us phrasing.
Sexual Outlaw?? I think I've just found the name of my new band. Um, after I learn to sing...or play an instrument.
At the very least, it would make a great t-shirt.
african americans, muslims and gays all have been targets of discrimination ....and if you pull the "choice" card out ....so is being a muslim.
and if you had a friggin sense of humor you wouldnt have posted about this four times.
Sexual Inlaw would be more provocative.
the reality is, a bar wants to move from one building to another, the old building is a block and a half away from the new one.
A woman placed in assisted housing, rent free, across the street 2 and a half years ago is claiming that the bar is invading her living situation. Any time that I have lived rent free I haven't had much room to bitch about the situation.... Her appeals cost her nothing, the general public pay a fee, so she is playing games on taxpayer dimes.
The bar is a small gay bar, it is not a fetishized street fair. Though why is it that people move to this area without doing some investigating first and then claim that their rights are being infringed on?
Cancerface, I think Brock was pointing out how bike riders in the city think that the rights of bike riders come before the rights of all others. This was a piece about leather bars in the SOMA area, yet somebody used it as a platform to talk about bike lanes. Brocks comment was a tounge in cheek comment on that. Understand???
cancerfree knows what i said. he's being an adorable troll. wink.
ah, me bad, thanks Brock,
"Adorable troll"
i
her handwriting bothers me a lot.
this is about morality and basic decency which a large amount of the San Francisco nightlife seems to toss out the window.
Whose morality?