Muni's Guide to this Weekend Demands Your Attention

There's news happening today, but we're glued to the coverage of the interstate shooting suspect in Virginia. The dude's name is Slade Woodson and he's 19, for crying out loud, and he didn't kill anyone so it's okay to giggle and lust. But Mr. Woodson isn't the only person potentially creating hazardous conditions along the nation's roadways: tonight is Critical Mass, the monthly proof that in the battle of douchebag versus douchebag, bicyclists and motorists are in a dead heat.

Also this weekend: the Greek Cultural Day Parade. We wouldn't mind spending some time with young Slade in observance of one particular aspect of ancient Greek culture, but he probably has more immediate concerns at the moment. It's starting at 10am on Saturday, shutting down most of Market Street between Embarcadero and the Combat Zone for about two hours. Fun.

And now, if you'll excuse us, we have a pressing engagement in our private fantasy realm involving an interstate, a gun rack, a sullen teenager, and a vomitorium.