Living Oprah Lives Best Life For One Year

Have you read Living Oprah, the greatest thing in the world, ever? Penned by a 35-year-old writer, performer, and artist living in Chicago--who doesn't give her name--for one year she will be living her life according to Oprah's edicts. Because Oprah Winfrey, as we all know by now, is Christ reborn.

Over the past few years--after becoming one of the most powerful person in the world, arguably--has achieved an inner peace and sparkling clarity that most of us can only find inside a prescription pill bottle. How long and for how much does one get in on this happiness? Living Oprah finds out. Here's just a sample of one of the tasks LO must accomplish on the road to oneness:

Ordered my 'crisp, white shirt" from Old Navy for $16.99. We were told we all needed to have one. I'm sure I'd LOVE to wear Oprah's favorite version of the shirt from Brooks Brothers, but at $89.50, it's just not going to happen. Of course, if she'd told us we needed that specific shirt, I would have purchased it, but luckily, an option was given and I'll have enough money to buy the groceries to make tonight's dinner.

This is how you get a book deal, folks. Ingenious.

(An aside: did anyone catch the episode recently where Marie Osmond gave Oprah a slave-like black baby doll? Which was part of Osmond's horrible QVC doll collection? If not, you missed one of the greatest moments in TV history.)