March 11, 2008
The Vatican Revises Thou-Shall-Not List
Lust, greed, and murder, it seems, are a thing of the past, according to the Vatican. Drug use and life-saving genetic experimentation are what's hot, at least according to the updated thou-shall-not list, which Pope Benedict XVI has modernized for today's lifestyle. The Associated Press tells us that among this season's newest sins, environmental sustainability, or lack thereof, made the list.
On the environment, both Pope Benedict XVI and the late Pope John Paul II frequently expressed concern about the fate of the Earth. During Benedict's papacy, Vatican engineers have developed plans for some Holy See buildings to use solar energy, including photovoltaic cells on the roof of the auditorium for pilgrims' audiences with the pontiff.
While the Vatican's latest turn toward keeping the earth green is a breath of fresh air, literally, they've also heavily denounced any coverage by the media of the numerous scandals or sin within the church, which "discredits the church." God forbid. Read more about the Catholic churches latests sins here.
| Advertisement: SFist Continues Below!
Post a comment (Comment Policy)
It's way too late for me to be saved.
I'll try the new ones just to be sure.
Anything coming from that Nazi is suspect, now let me say my rosary and do a line in peace.
he should've revised it to include this
This didn't come from the pope, although he's a right bastard. It came from some dimwit archbishop. So it isn't official Church doctrine at all, just some bloke's opinion. So far. The AP is over-reporting the significance.
Ironically, in a longer article on this, it lists "the concentration of wealth in the hands of the few" as being one of these new sins. I guess the pope is going to hell in an emerald encrusted handbasket.
I have a few late write in's that I would like to see as hell worthy offenses.
- Thou shalt not rub against anyone else on public transportation.
- Thou shalt bathe before boarding public transportation.
- Thou shalt not clip thine fingernails on public transportation.
- Thou shalt not bring a live chicken in a plastic bag on public transportation. (Yes, you elderly Chinese women.)