Let's start with "Project Runway," even though the buzz has died down by now, and it really wasn't a surprising ending at all. By this point, you have hopefully seen all the designs in the Fashion Week show, but if not, feel free to rate them yourself!

A lot of Christian's line was predictably over-the-top; the boy sure does love his ruffles. Because he didn't use much color (mainly black and browns) some of the pieces just blended into the next, and it was hard to see the details. But his ending gowns, especially the one made of feathers, were stunning.

Rami had some stunners in his collection as well, one of which was the black gown he showed last week. Alas, he kept those horrible round panels on the sides of the gown, which almost ruined it. The dress with the interwoven top was amazing, but his color choices were questionable, and the judges agreed. Also, some of his dresses looked a little dowdy.

Of the three, Jillian's seemed much more ready-to-wear than couture. Of course, it was her choice to go that way, but it also doesn't seem quite fair to judge her pieces next to Christian's flamboyant couture looks. Are the designers told to do what they want, or are they told to do some couture, and some ready-to-wear, and mix it up? Whatever the case, Jillian surprised the judges with a lot of her knitwear, and aside from that striped sweater with the sea anemone shoulders, her stuff was lovely and wearable.

Come judgement time, though, Jillian was the first one aufed. It was obvious Christian's collection practically gave guest judge Victoria Beckham multiple orgasms, so it shocked no one when he was announced the winner. What did come as a surprise was seeing Christian start crying even before he won, with the tears really flowing after the announcement. The little fucker even made us cry. Despite all his bravado and ego, he's a talented guy, and he probably has the most to gain from a win. He can at least move out of his closet/bedroom/work-room. Then again, he lives in New York. Maybe he can't.

(Programming note! "Top Chef" takes over "Project Runway"'s timeslot next week, and there are four--FOUR--local chefs on the show. Needless to say, we will be recapping it.)

"America's Next Top Model" began with the girls getting free Apple Bottom jeans and then sticking their Apple Bottom-clad bottoms into the camera, and Fatima, once again, insulting one of the girls (Allison) by saying her Apple Bottom was bigger than other Apple Bottoms. And then everyone went to Wal-Mart. And that was only the beginning of the product placement, so we'll make this short: The first challenge was a make-up challenge, and Marvita did not win. The funniest part of this section of the show, though, was most of the interviews were obviously done post make-over, so a lot of the girls were wearing scarves and unfortunate hats lest they spoil the viewers of their upcoming metamorphisises....ses.

Let's get to those make-overs, shall we? The twist this time was the girls were not told what was going to be done to them beforehand. A lot of them ended up blonde (including Miss J.). Marvita got a "horse mane hair weave," which basically looks like a really long mohawk, which she later protected by wearing one of those awesome old-lady, clear plastic rain caps. Fatima got a weave and cried and cried.

The photo shoot was on a boat and had the girls modeling Elle Macpherson Intimates, with assistance from Elle Macpherson herself. Marvita thought she was the nicest person she's ever met. How sweet. No one got sea sick, though, so it was all a little disappointing.

Judging! The panel liked Marvita's photo, and Paulina thought she looked like an urban panther. An urban panther with a horse mane. Nigel thought she had one of the strongest pictures, so, needless to say, she got through, and is still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model. Allison, however, is not, which came as no surprise since they spent the entire episode showing us how full of herself she was.