February 29, 2008
Days of Our Zoo: Man Arrested for Taunting Rhino
On Thursday, Juan Zuluaga, 26, was arrested at the SF Zoo following a run-in with a rhinoceros. It seems, according to the Chron, that Zuluaga was busted for throwing acorns at Mashaki, a black rhino:
Police said they were summoned to the zoo at 3:30 p.m. Thursday after a patron reported to officials that Zuluaga was picking acorns off a branch and tossing them at the black rhino, a male named Mashaki. Zuluaga was with another man, who was not cited.
Jesus Christ. Someone explain to us the thought process behind going to the zoo to actively annoying aggressive animals. You know, animals that could kill you? Sure, we used to burn tons of ants with lighter fluid and a Bic as a kid -- who didn't? -- but this stupefies us. The animals at the zoo don't need your shit, people. Back off.
Anyway, according to SF Zoo spokesperson Lora LaMarca, "[h]e tried whistling at (the animal), then grabbed a branch and took acorns off it," which he then tossed at the animal. Zuluaga was cited and then released following the incident.
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Tomorrow afternoon my friends and I are going to get tipsy on pernod and grapefruit, then flog the gophers with frozen sticks of Normandy butter. We're hardcore representin' Nob Hill stylie! (yo)
"Sure, we used to burn tons of ants with lighter fluid and a Bic as a kid -- who didn't?"
Um, me? WTF?
Yeah, I didn't burn ants either. Mainly because I'm not a complete dick. Why, oh why, does SFist so often assume that I am?
can someone look this fucktard up for me so i can start hurling flaming bags of pooh at his house?
i have plenty, being as full of shit as i am
;)
@rob in sf: ha! good one!
I think guys like this dude who's taunting the rhinos, should as a part of his punishment explain to the public his negligible thought processes that made him think "duh gee boss let's taunt a rhino...with that bigass horn and sh*t"
i think i found him:
Juan Zuluaga
*************
******************
**************************
he might even work at ***********
can anyone confirm?
[edited by SFist]
that area of santa cruz is mostly warehouses and homeless shelters
@ suckafree...
for real? that's sort of not cool.
I think the Zoo is ignoring an untapped market waiting to be explored.
There too many aggressive stupid people + the Zoo needs money. So, make Wednesdays 'Pay $20 to rent a slingshot and be locked in a cage with a large aggressive animal' day.
It's an easy revenue stream, takes kids who would otherwise be doing stupid shit elsewhere off the streets and helps the animals stay entertained. There's no downside!
You know what else is not cool? Taunting a defenseless animal.
Besides, if this dick was arrested, it's a matter of public record anyway. Don't want your info posted? Don't be an idiot. Pretty simple.
i found that name on whitepages.com
might not be him, since there were duplicate records. this guy might be a 36 year old at plantronics.
if so, maybe they are related and he can help us find his loser kin.
Why does this guy get the clink, but the tigerkids walk off? Maybe the dude just thought it was legal now.