Close Reading of Yelp

Sent to us by SFist reader Sean Yamamoto, today's Yelp review was penned by Beth S. (Please excuse the glaring nepotism.) She critiques Owen Bias, i.e., the "old dude with the sign," saying:

I've fucked him. And it was awesome. He's surprisingly nasty, yet afterwards, incredibly tender. He likes to spoon. 5 stars...

Wonderful.