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One star to a yoga place in the Haight. The entire review:
I had to wake up at 5pm to pick up the manatee here. I am tired and cranky. Besides this place already has a crappy rating.
Heh.
Speaking of which, SFist readers, send us your favorite Yelp review. If we get enough, we'll start posting our favorite review of the day. So, please, send us ones that are curt and clever, not the ones that ramble on like, say, a blog post. (Send 'em to editor@sfist.com with "yelp review" in the subject field, folks. Thanks.)
We always prefer the reviews that are short and (not so) sweet, so perhaps this will help Yelp reviewers get a little more concise with their thoughts. Prattling on endlessly is our job, thank you.
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I almost like this one from the same review even better:
"To my chagrin, there is always a strong funk wafting out of the door and into the neighborhood. It's a blend of asparagus-tainted urine with an unclean belly button; throw in a dash of room temperature pickle juice."
I love Yelp, and I'm active on the site, but it's reviews like that which make the site incrementally shittier and shittier. Have these people not heard of Livejournal?
It's hard enough work weeding out reviews of Lucky 13 written by people who think Matrixfillmore is OMG SO fun! without having to read reviews about Cole Hardware that somewhat insert stories about ex-boyfriends, overripened bananas, childhood pets, and flavored lubricant.
They just got a big round of funding this week, I doubt it'll get any better.
If I may suggest: Look for the best comment about Medjool. I swear, people on Yelp absolutely detest that place (for good reason, and why I like Yelp!)
I've been getting addicted to the site myself (more so in the last couple of months), and personally I happen to like the anecdotes about banana-flavored lubricant or an ex-boyfriend's pet, as long as I know whether or not it's worth making the trip to a given location for say, a heat lamp. Nothing wrong with a little creative license as long as it's at least somewhat relevant and not too wordy.
It's hard enough work weeding out reviews of Lucky 13 written by people who think Matrixfillmore is OMG SO fun!
Exactly why I do not like Yelp. I feel it is for the Marina and Bridge and Tunnel crowd, opinions that don't matter to me.
If I may suggest: Look for the best comment about Medjool. I swear, people on Yelp absolutely detest that place (for good reason, and why I like Yelp!)
Well maybe there is a glimmer of hope afterall!
xyz- Well, like I said, it takes some work. I'm basically on Yelp for taquerias and dive bars, and it can take a bit of work to dig out what you want, but it's been invaluable to me the past few years, finding new places. And I don't just mean "new places" like Monk's Kettle and Broken Record, but actual little neighborhood spots.
Yelp is proof that there are approximately 400,000 Lit majors in San Francisco just waiting for the opportunity to pull their metaphorical dick out to each other. Bah, get to the point already.
I think JimBobJoe is right, no doubt Creative Writing Majors at State figure into the Yelp demographic as well.
I agree with cowsaysmeow. Personally I like the anecdotes people leave on the site. How else am I going to learn that a waitress at the Lucky Penny used to be a gangster's moll in the 40's and once gave a member of the Rat Pack a rusty trombone? Go there? No way!
I can't stand the stupid anecdotes (nobody cares if the place you're reviewing reminds you of your old high school days. OK?)
But when they start to annoy me, I ask myself why I'm reading Yelp in the first place, and I realize it's because there's a lot of useful info in those reviews, and that those reviews were left by real people voluntarily, and that there might not be so many people participating if the site censored those self-indulgent blog-style rants that make me not want to read it. And then I get all confused and cross-eyed from the circularity of it all.
I'm an English Lit. major and I still don't get the "manatee" reference at "5pm". (That yoga place exudes a terribly funkified odor when they throw open the doors and the people escape their sweat-fest. Do manatees smell funny?)
The yoga-manatee review is not even close to being the best. I have submitted to Brock what I consider to be the Best Yelp Review Ever.
If he doesn't publish it here in the next week or so in a "Best Yelp Review Ever" post, I will. But I have to give him a chance...
Oh, the huge manatee?
(Can't believe nobody did that yet.)