February 6, 2008
Pondering the Semiotics of Hipster Beards
Over the weekend we went to Casanova's and realized that hipster beards have achieved some sort of critical mass. It appeared that every fourth person in the bar had some sort of beard, giving the bar a high HBQ (Hipster Beard Quotient, a stat derived by dividing the number of beards per customer, multiplying it by the size of the crowd, and then dividing it again by the square footage). The HBQ was not quite Boogaloos high but high nevertheless. We also noticed that there were also a high variety of beards seen, meaning that the beard craze has gone from it's "classic" phase to "gothic" phase.
Like all things hipster, we wondered just how this beard thing works and the meaning of it all. Like, the guy checking IDs at the bar had a very scruffy, mountain man beard that made him look like Zach Galifianakis. Does this make him "hipper" than some dude with just a normal beard just because it was thicker? Is that worth, say, five hipster points on the hipster/coolness scale? And what about the dude we saw riding a bike down 16th street who had some sort of Hasidic Rabbi/Matisyahu thing going? Is that considered the high end of hipsterdom, like fifteen points or twenty, because his beard was way longer than most beards? Would this, then, make him hipper than the guy checking IDs? Then there was another guy at the bar who had a normal looking beard, but topped it off with a Rollie-Fingers style handlebar moustache. How hip would he be considered? Would he be somewhere between the Zach dude and the Matisyahu dude because his beard was normal length or would he be considered hipper because while it is easy to just grow out a beard, doing the handlebar thing takes work and effort?
We could be wrong about all this but our guess was that the handle bar dude was higher on the hipster scale because he was able to attract his faux-mullet wearing, sort of 70's swept-do, girlfriend, Together, they gave off such an aura of hipness that we wanted to stand by them and bask in their hipster, halo-like, aura. We felt cooler just being in the same bar with them. Were these two the offical King and Queen of Hipsterdom? Were they the Patient Zero of hipsterdom, you know the two hipsters in the Mission from which all hipness emanates? Either way, to them we say, well played, hipster couple, well played.
It took us years to figure out how the trucker hat trend worked but unfortunately, we figured it out way after it was trendy. Now that the beard thing is still happening, we'd like to understand it now before it becomes so 2008. Among other things, we want to know if we'd be cooler just by growing a beard. Anyways, can anyone explain all of this to us?
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Just don't grow a soul patch. Ick.
Meanwhile, in flyover country, guys still have goatees. Amazing.
I don't think beards are really hip anymore. I wouldn't call them unhip but it's gotten to the point(as you mentioned) where everyone has one. Beards were cool in 04. I did 8 months with a mustache in 02 and that was ahead of it's time. I can usually call a style before they happen. I called mullets and people laughed at me. You know what's next(and is already happening) Early 90's hairdos. You know the ones that are longer on top but then fade tightly to a close shave on the side. However, people still have those and they aren't being ironic. So you have to pull it off with cool clothes, blah, blah, blah, who cares, I've been in this city for too long.
the lincoln in my favorite. all beard, no stache.
i made a commitment to my boyfriend that i would cut his hair before Febeardary so he didn't have the shaggy mop and beard. i almost convinced him to buzz the top in combo with a lincoln but he was all worried he'd be "cold" and look "retarded." whatever
I just don't like shaving okay?!
shaving is for sailors
you went to cassanovas on the weekend and are complaining about hipsters?? is it time to take a look in the mirror or what?
What can I say, I live across the street from Casanovas-- I'm lazy.
How about that guy with the Katie Holmes beard?
holy mackerel! between Jon's "beards are hip?" eureka moment and the SF Weekly's cover story on "fabulous" voguing balls, I feel like I'm in 1991 today again! which is great because I was about 50 pounds lighter but less cute then. Next up: there's this crazy grunge music from seattle -- SADGASM LIVES! Oh, and tattoes are really making headway among the youth. Anyone wanna shoegaze? I've got an ironic lunchbox and blue hair!
That spurted, anything with the words "semiotics" and "beards" in the same sentence (without Camille Paglia barfing up Roland Barthes in a PJ Harvey video) is guaranteed to turn me on ...
Whatever, the best I can do is grow sparse patches, not even enough for a real 'stache or sideburns and I'm closing in on 30! As a result I'm jealous of all facial hair. I'd give anything to look like Rollie. Coolest Athletic ever.
It could be worse.
I met a guy in the Burbank airport once a few years ago whose hobby [I guess you'd call it that] was collecting various names of how people describe their beards.
His list was up to 80 I think. He walked up to me to ask how I described what I had, which I had always heard called, "spot goatee" [just the dot under the lower lip].
Well, he practically jizzed on the spot [not mine] because that was a new name to him.
I still have the name list somewhere which he gave me as a thanks.
after this week and all the people i know taking part in the Milk era march redos.. i expect to see a small resurgance of 70s era MILKstaches. I know i got mine!
beards at bars or this at bars. Which do you want?
When-oh-when is it going to be OK to bring back the "toothbrush". Hitler died like twenty years ago, or something.
I basically live at the Casanova, and I feel I should point out that the usual crowd at that place is a bit older (early to mid 30's)and is usually made up of garage rock fans, other bartenders, and basic pedestrian neighborhood folk.
All of the true-blue hipsters I know can't stand the 'Nova because they consider it boring & over the hill at best, and full of douchebag-spillover from Blondie's at worst (most weekend nights). They'd much rather hang out at Pops, The Knockout, and the Arrow Bar. I can't even set foot in those joints without feeling like Grandpa Munster.
Oh, and as for the beards, I don't know if they're hip or not, I just grew mine to help hide the 15 pounds I gained when I quit doing blow a couple of years ago.
is there really a woman on earth who wants a guy with a beard going down on her? i just can't imagine that feels any kind of good.
and yes, you figured it out ... i'm not gay.
Pondering hipsterdom never gets old, does it? All I can add to the discussion is that I've never been able to feel hip with a beard. But maybe I just need a good hipster consultant to shape it for me.
This hipster discussion once again reminds me of my all-time favorite hipster cartoon:
http://www.catandgirl.com/view.php?loc=455
I've always like this one. I have it on my fridge, in fact, 'cuz I'm old school that way.
I thought this site was run by hipsters?
Didn't they give some guy on a fixed gear
some "bike guy of the year" award?
Groverfield is right. Hipsters don't hang out near 16th and Valencia on a weekend. Hard to have a discussion about meaning, if we don't even know what you think you know.
why do they wear their girlfriends jeans?
haha, see, those people are what the LOSERS call hipsters.
the actually hip hipsters are a couple levels removed from all you haters who believe they can hold themselves above the fray and maybe claw their way up a couple ladder rungs by denouncing everything.
you'll never even get close. you wouldn't be able to recognize one if you were staring right at them
THEY ARE INVISIBLE AND THEY HAVE HOVERBOARDS
I didn't get my hoverboard.
Hipster is what other hipsters call people who make them feel bad for getting older. Gimme five bees!
I was in Trader Joe's the other day by myself and I was in line and I was like "Self, look at all these beards! It's like an al quaeda training camp in here!"
And I done cracked myself up.
I like a nice bear.
I'm 25 and while studying for law school finals in December I just stopped shaving. For the first time in my life I was able to grow a beard. Before this time, it was always too thin to be called a beard or mustache. I was excited because it made me look older and I don't have to shave!
I find it highly shitty that the first time I'm able to grow a beard every other asshole in this state has to grow one too. Oh well. maybe the others are like me and its still novelty for them....
@tony_flow: Oh, you fresh faced youth you! As someone that has a 5 o'clock shadow by about half past 1. And who started getting chest hair at like 10, I am just glad that beards are in so that I don't have to shave twice a day.
In the race to be cutting edge, hipsters are all clones. It is comical to see the formula uniforms, haircuts, and accessories one must have to fit in. It's like the crowd at a Hannah Montana concert.
Here's a 2006 story on the same thing.With the patient zero reference too.
wchase: Not this girl. Even the image you conjured up grosses me out.
We have a pact in my house. He quits shaving, *I* quit shaving (and any other form of hair removal) Works out nicely.
I think worrying about being hip is a youth thing. It's quite shallow but it is ok. It's ok to be young and a bit naive and think that your shoes and hair matter. It's a form of expression and I can appreciate that. However, when you get a bit older, it's important to evolve and realize that that shit doesn't really matter. You can still wear the bullshit, as long as you realize that it isn't important.
Good Christ. A full post and nearly three dozen comments on the beard without anyone significantly directing the chatter toward moustaches.
Beards have always centered around the individual male. But moustaches are just so damn halting and signal a clear shift in generational attitudes -- my old man's moustache was no joke, but today's ironic moustache represents today's relentless obession with irony.
The fact that moustaches persist across the city says worlds about the now hipster, fearlessly donning the look of a child toucher and at times adding to it a windowless van as an accessory that he'll claim is used by his band for touring.
And I have to disagree with Groverfield: the Casanova doesn't strike me as somehow more genuinely local during the week. A coke-addled art school girl with science-teacher flats and a sleeveless hair-metal T is just as likely to fall into my drink on Tuesday.
And speaking of moustaches, we saw a hipster dude on 16th with a hipster moustache. Does worshipping at the altar of irony and hipness worth sporting a 'stache? And he came complete with way too tight jeans and a girlfriend complete with mismatching thrift store clothes and Betty Page bangs.
And I like the Casanova too as it can often be chill, the music is good, and it has couches. But it lately appears to have gotten a lot more popular on the weekends and with a much younger crowd.
these comments make sfistrs seem like a bunch of old grumpy's. If you have the time to bash someone over the internet because of the way they look then you need to look in the mirror. Life is short, stop being grumpy and move on. Let people just be themselvs.
the whole talking sh*t about hipsters thing is sooo tried and old! Lets move on!!!
We're not bashing the way you look bikebike, just commenting on the way you end up looking so much alike in the effort to be different. Not the first clique this is true of and certainly won't be the last.
www.beardsbeardsbeards.com
I have a beard because it's winter. In winter, I like to grow a beard. But then, my beard also isn't styled or huge, it's just...run of the mill i guess.
So, why do so few people bypass Casanova and head over to the Phoenix like I do? It's a couple blocks further of a walk from my aparment, but it's worth it since it's chill even on a Friday night. I love a bar where not only can I move, but I can usually find a place to sit down.
lately i shave maybe once every 5-6 weeks
week 1 - still get carded sometimes
week 2 - scruffy, unkempt vibe . is he a little bit dangerous, or just busy?
week 3 - starts to fill in, definitely can see the salt and pepper aspect, go from looking late 20s to early 40s
week 4,5 - people avoid sitting next to me on muni if they can help it
week 6 - starts causing problems like when i eat pizza. also getting sick of getting no play with the eye contact games with hot chicks on the train. shave it!
This woman does have a thing for men with beards. I mean they still have to be maintained but most men just look better with beards, not so cookie cutter and plain. But now its just getting out of hand, I mean they're everywhere, but at least it gives me alot of eye candy. And its a hell of alot better then the mustache fad. Good god thats horrific. Super Troopers is funny for a reason.
oh and btw, yes it does feel good.
I've heard the 70s are coming back, too.
The tricky thing about beards is the amount of food/drink that can get trapped in them. It is no fun to watch someone with a beard try to eat a burrito. It is also no fun to see dried up bits of said burrito still happily residing in the beard a couple of hours later.
Some of my best friends are black/bearded/gay/you.
Wait, you "figured out" the trucker hat? Was there a thesis on that too? Am I going to be hearing about my Reebok hi tops in three years, because I'd sure like to know how they got on my feet. I WANT ANSWERS, PEOPLE.