December 28, 2007
SFist Top Ten of 2007: Annoying Hipster Trends
1) Waxed Mustaches. We've seen a few guys wandering around with this look, which takes the wispy mustaches that hairless hipsters of yore sported, and turns them into pointy weapons. Rollie Fingers did it better.
2) '70s-style tennis headbands. We first saw this last year at a Ratatat show, when we thought we had somehow wandered into a Bjorn Borg lookalike contest. This year, it got really out of control, as every eighteen-year-old with a vintage Iron Maiden shirt decided to discover his inner McEnroe.
3 through 10 after the jump!
3) Ultra-tight pants. We're pretty sure that the Mission boys have started binding their feet in order to get into these. How can that possibly be comfortable? The only way these can fit is by their obvious reliance on...
4) Male Butt Reduction Surgery. It's impossible to be concave instead of convex, but some of our local cooler-than-thous manage it. If there was a gay Sir-Mix-A-Lot, he'd be very sad when wandering the Valencia Corridor.
5) Any weekday show at Mezzanine. Doors 9, show 10...I mean, 11, I mean, headliner at 12:30 on a Tuesday morning? Come on - some of us have day jobs. Oh, wait...we meant "the conditions of our trust fund require us to wake up by eight!"
6) Fixies with really narrow handlebars. We're decidedly in the "they're ok if you can really handle them" school when it comes to fixed-gear bikes. We also think that most people who ride them in this city should probably still be using training wheels. But why, oh why is everyone sawing off the handlebars? Is steering now lame?
7) Hanging out in front of Kilowatt and loudly scoffing at the bridge and tunnel crowd on a Friday night. Guys, it's Kilowatt. You aren't exactly on the road less traveled at Sixteenth and Valencia.
8) Two-hour lines for weekend breakfast at Boogaloos. (see picture at top) It used to suck to try to go there...now it's just pointless. It's not that good.
9) Hating Ritual because there are too many hipsters there. Get over it. The coffee is really good, it's locally owned, and ever since they covered up the electrical outlets, the Web 2.0 "I'm using this place as my office and am talking about synergy on my Blackberry" factor has dropped dramatically.
10) Hating on hipsters. It's ironic, it's self-referential, it's a giant meta-circle of hipster haterdom!
Images:
Rollie Fingers from CNNsi.com, Bjorn Borg from the Encyclopedia Brittanica (concise.brittanica.com), jeans from findcoolclothes.com, Web 2.0 from Wikipedia, hipster stencil from Flickr user brainsik under a Creative Commons License, fixie bike from velospace.org, boogaloos pic from flickr user TfUnQ under a Creative Commons license, Ritual Roasters photo by ldandersen under a Creative Commons license
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Waxed mustaches?? really?? Are you sure guys aren't doing it for a laugh ... maybe playing a strange character for the evening? Do they have weird accents to boot? hmm....
Amen to number ten. As far as I'm concerned, the biggest way to identify someone as a hipster is to ask them if they hate hipsters. If you know enough about hipsters to hate them, you probably are one.
I've been curious about the narrow fixie handlebars also. There must be some kind of reason for them besides just a fashion statement, right? right? Does anyone know? Maybe they make it easier to navigate narrow spots between cars?
And #10 reminds me of this great cartoon:
http://www.catandgirl.com/view.php?loc=455
#9: The hipsters at Ritual don't bother me. The blaring shitty music bothers me. It's so freakin' loud, even if you put on headphones you have to crank up the volume until permanent hearing loss sets in.
Why do most American food service establishments feel the necessity to play music? Mmmm?
Here's one for you - The lineup at 24th and Valencia waiting for the shiny black school bus to take them to Google compound. Not a trend per se but man that seems creepy. I have no idea why.
And here's my nomination for one of the Top Ten Annoying Non-Hipster Trends: buggy comment servers that throw errors without confirming whether or not the comment was actually accepted.
;)
Like this...
Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.
Please contact the server administrator, root@localhost and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.
More information about this error may be available in the server error log.
Apache/2.0.52 (Red Hat) Server at 10.17.18.181 Port 80
Here's one for you - The lineup at 24th and Valencia waiting for the shiny black school bus to take them to Google compound. Not a trend per se but man that seems creepy. I have no idea why.
How about "using Yelp as your own personal blog"?
we're on it, mpantone. sorry for the continuing problem. but have no fear, your comments will appear.
another pick: hipsters no longer equaling nerds. true geeks must've been livid that scenesters were stealing their label for the past two or three years.
Ha ha yeah. I once saw a personals ad where the lady said, "I like real nerds. This means that if you've ever referred to yourself as a nerd you probably aren't one." Textbook hipster.
narrow handlebars are so you can fit between the moving car that doesn't see you and the parked car that you hope won't have a door opening soon. At least that's why I had a narrow headset on my (non-fixee) bike.
the narrow handlebars are there because they look cool and because everyone else has them.
i usually feel like the "too-old-for-this-shit" guy when it comes to hating on hipsters, but I have to admit, the bike fad has really gotten to me for some reason. I find it absolutely infuriating, but I can't put my finger on it as to why.
As a cyclist, more bikes can only be a good thing for me, and at worst it'll at least mean I'll get some quality parts when they fall out of favor in a few years.
i guess it's because i feel other people are checking out my ride and thinking "that guy doesn't get it -- no fixed gear, no rims with a 150 pound weight limit, no matching handlebar grips -- what a poseur."
Number 11: Everybody thinks they are a f*&%ing DJ. No, you're a tool with an iPod. And it's not ironic to mash Peaches and Herb with Black Flag. Your mother called. It's past your bedtime.
"...it's some good advice, that you just didn't take..."
I was debating between the narrow handlebars and too-tall seats for that one. I don't get either one - if you are physically wider than your handlebars, you'll still get clipped by doors. And if your seat is so high that you're rocking back and forth (an easy way to tell a fixie rider from far away) you're wasting energy. Confusing.
I haven't ridden a bicycle for a decade or more but can someone explain the fixed gear set up to me? Why wouldn't you want brakes?
The truth about many of who are considered hipsters, especially the really young new ones, is they sound almost exactly the same as the people they disparage. Its that mallish upward inflection in their voice and lots of "likes"
To a lot of locals its the other side of the same lily white coin. Really no difference.
um, sorry, ritual coffee isn't that great.
I like combining #8 with #10- Boogaloos kinda sucks but it's an excellent place to make fun of hipsters
yes, yesyes, ritual coffee is teh suck. Starbucks is better.
God, please make the next hipster trend to hit SF be moving to Portland or something...