SFist: SF Zoo Emergency Procedures Not Followed, Says the Chron

wsanders

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:14:26 -0800

"Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" Everyone should be issued a wallet card with procedures to follow in case of a tiger attack: 1) Run around in circles, screaming, or if you have a cell phone, try to sober up and record the whole thing. 2) Arrange media appearances on "Inside Edition", "Primer Impacto" ,etc, ASAP. 3) Make sure video rights are sold to "America's Most Hilariousest Fatal Animal Rampages" 4) Oh, call 911.

mariconsoy

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:44:29 -0800

This is a perfect example of why I believe in the 2nd amendment to the US Constitution. Everyone should carry a gun at all times. Kill the tigers. Kill the pigeons. Shoot at the latte drinkers on cell phones. Make america safe again. [the last time I wrote something like this someone thought it was real. relax.satire]

KWillets

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:09:48 -0800

1. RUN AWAY IT'S TEH TIGER [Pages 2-18 intentionally left blank.]

manys

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:27:28 -0800

Ha ha, a twofer! You know they're trying to wait until the attention is gone, the dears.

SFistJim

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:24:52 -0800

Better Thursday than Wednesday, Jan. 2, which was scheduled to be a free admission day. "Life will find a way." Dr. Ian Malcolm