December 28, 2007
SF Zoo Emergency Procedures Not Followed, Says the Chron
Uh oh.
According to the cats over at the Chron, an "18-page 'Emergency Procedures' manual, written in 2006, spells out what zookeepers, guards and even the receptionist in the main office are supposed to do if a 'Siberian tiger is out of its enclosure' or any other dangerous animal escapes." (It's always the receptionist's fault, isn't it? The fall guys of the modern world, really.)
Basically, such emergency procedures as a "Code One" call, a shooting team, and a veterinary staff that is supposed to "' gather chemical immobilization equipment in preparation for anesthetizing the animal'" were not followed on Christmas Day's fatal tiger attack.
The Chron also goes on to report that some SF Zoo visitors claim that "that they were inside the zoo at the time, unaware that a tiger was loose until after the animal was dead." And that the most closely followed course of action was the one in which all "zoo custodians, handymen and popcorn vendors ... 'remain inside (and) close the door.'"
Oh, and to no surprise whatsoever, this just in: "The San Francisco Zoo announced it will reopen to the public on Thursday, January 3, 2008." So, there you have it.
|
Better Thursday than Wednesday, Jan. 2, which was scheduled to be a free admission day.
"Life will find a way."
Dr. Ian Malcolm
Ha ha, a twofer! You know they're trying to wait until the attention is gone, the dears.
1. RUN AWAY IT'S TEH TIGER
[Pages 2-18 intentionally left blank.]
This is a perfect example of why I believe in the 2nd amendment to the US Constitution.
Everyone should carry a gun at all times.
Kill the tigers. Kill the pigeons. Shoot at the latte drinkers on cell phones.
Make america safe again.
[the last time I wrote something like this someone thought it was real. relax.satire]
"Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"
Everyone should be issued a wallet card with procedures to follow in case of a tiger attack:
1) Run around in circles, screaming, or if you have a cell phone, try to sober up and record the whole thing.
2) Arrange media appearances on "Inside Edition", "Primer Impacto" ,etc, ASAP.
3) Make sure video rights are sold to "America's Most Hilariousest Fatal Animal Rampages"
4) Oh, call 911.