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We were idiots this morning and clicked on a Google ad this morning for The Hayes, that new condo building on Page near Market. We bike past it nearly every morning, and we were curious as to what it looked like inside. When the window popped up, we were immediately irritated because an idiotic faux-cool downtempo ambient electronic track started randomly playing - we couldn't find a mute button on the site because it waited about a minute before popping up a little player window.
A player? In a real estate site? In our ideal world Real estate sites should show us what the place would look like were we to live in there instead of the kind of relaxing music that makes us want to go Lizzie Borden. Even better - sometimes the player doesn't appear, and you have to close your browser window to shut it up. Ugh. We hate this website. And now we hate the condo building.
Why? Follow us after the jump!
- Artificially fragmented sentences: "Hayes Valley is a neighborhood. And it’s unlike any other you’ve ever known."
- Sentences that, when actually read, make no sense: "Most of all, Hayes Valley is a one-of-a-kind neighborhood you can make your own. Because the best way to fit in, is to not fit in at all."
- Bad copyediting: "Heller Manus has recently completed several projects in San Francisco including The Metrolpolitan, 199 New Montomery and the renovation of city hall." What is this Metrolpolitan? Can we buy one?
- No photos of the interior. We could only find "tours" in Quicktime or Windows Media. Slow, stupid.
- The phrase "sleek bamboo flooring." Why on earth would you want your floors to be aerodynamic? Are they bat-floors that turn into an attack jet with missiles? Because that would make a cool condo. Imagine the dinner parties we could throw!
And did we mention the pop-up Om Records random tune player? Hey, rich guys behind the Hayes - you've managed to make us hate you a lot, and because we have nowhere near the money we'd need to move into your development, we're taking our revenge by ranting about your website on another website! Don't you feel pwned? pwn3d?
Pic from the Hayes website, and it makes no sense because there's little people on the balconies, and the building isn't done yet, which means that the picture is fake!
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"don't you feel pwned?" perhaps should be "owned"? when i rant i make typos too :)
>>"don't you feel pwned?" perhaps should be "pwn3d"?
Fixed!
Good point, DJTennesee...fixed it.
Yeah, they had signs up in late spring saying that these places would be ready by December. They took those down over the summer. I don't think this thing will ever be finished. They aren't cheap, either.
Side note: WTF? They removed the bus stop that was right next to this place on Page and Gough and shifted the previous stop forward one morning last month.
There's a little button on yur keyboard with a picture of a speaker on it but no sound waves. Try it.
See, I would do that, but that would still involve listening to that hateful post-Burning Man crap for the few seconds it would take to find the mute button.
Didn't forcing you to listen to music go in the "bad web design" books back when you could only have MIDI files autoplay?
Let's give SFist a constant score, shall we? How do people feel about showtunes? Smooth jazz?
Is that what that button does?
Too funny!!! I used to work for these guys. Have you seen the other site? They've got another development in South Beach on 5th and Berry.
In case anyone's curious, it's www.arterrasf.com
Whoops, sorry! I was getting an error message, so didn't know I posted a thousand times already, yikes!
where's the cool speaker button on my keyboard? I want one!!!
I think Spence was hot for the Vanessa Carlton jingle.
But if I had to choose an SFist theme song, I'd have to go with Avenue Q's "Shadenfreude".
If it was flash and you're using Firefox, you can block (and opt-in) all Flash with the flashblocker extension:
http://flashblock.mozdev.org/
I thought there was a simple way to disable sounds if they were in an tag or Javascript but a quick google can't find it right now.
Embedded sounds really are annoying, and the mark of a moron.
See though, those apartments are not for you. Lame embedded audio in web pages and a lack of pictures focus groups well among Saudi oil princes looking for investment properties in the US, or whoever the (#*$& these "Low $800s!" apartments are supposed to be for.
Not thines!
See though, those apartments are not for you. Lame embedded audio in web pages and a lack of pictures focus groups well among Saudi oil princes looking for investment properties in the US, or whoever the (#*$& these "Low $800s!" apartments are supposed to be for.
Not thines!
Total pwnage.
Total pwnage.
"Because the best way to fit in, is to not fit in at all." Clearly these condos are being marketed to eighth-grade boys who are considering smoking cigarettes.