December 17, 2007
Preggo Skinny Bitches Heart A Pea in A Pod
They must. Otherwise the store would go out of business. 
[Sorry to go all Noe Valley on you lovely readers, but yes, one more SFist writer is knocked up and ready to rant.]
A Pea in a Pod near Union Square was on the list of dreaded maternity-clothes-shopping destinations when we realized that we could no longer button our jeans. Mistake. Big mistake. APIAP's non-designer jeans (We are not spending $130 on elastic-banded 7 For All Mankinds, thank you very much) come in three sizes; small, medium, and large. Fair enough, right? Wrong. The sizes do not correspond to pant sizes. Oh no, they correspond to the size of the elastic band.
It was really nice of them to set their standard jean size at 4 or 6. We can only guesstimate the actual size based on the way our size-8 ass couldn't quite make it into the denim. After attempting to try on a small, then a medium, and then (holy crap) a large with absolutely no success, we left the store in tears amid a dirty-look assault from a saleswoman who at first was totally sweet. Was it our huge ass that offended her or the huge pile of teeny-tiny jeans we left in the dressing room? We'll never know.
On the bright side, we ventured to Serramonte (we're kinda ashamed to admit) where we discovered Motherhood Maternity and their myriad of affordable denim for ladies of all sizes. A breathe of fresh air after an awful experience.
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Elevated hormones usually mean elevated nerves, yes?
Get thine buttocks to a sports store and pick up some over sized comfy sweat pants. Forgo your vanity for 9 months and focus on the baby inside of you, not the jeans or your butt. Damn breeders and their twisted sense of priorities... Jeesh!
hey now! you two watch your tone when you addressing a woman with-child.
Congratulations, Deborah! Exciting news.
Have you checked out Japanese Weekend at Union Square? The name is hilarious, but I just now checked out their website. They have super cute stuff (the cheaper stuff is 3 or 4 pages deep). Most of the jeans are expensive ($108), but check out this adorable dress that can be worn 6 different ways. Love it!
Please. At least they MAKE jeans for pregnant women now. When I had my kid, I had my choice of the following:
Ugly tent dress with ducks on it.
Ugly tent dress with rabbits on it.
And no Kate Spade diaper bags for me, no sir. I had the choice of:
Ugly cheesy diaper bag with ducks on it.
Ugly cheesy diaper bag with rabbits on it.
I didn't know if I was having a baby or turning into one.
Faced with this hideousness, I'd have gladly shelled out $130 for a pair of jeans. You can always dump em on ebay afterward.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, WOMAN.
And congrats.
Anything available for to-be-mom's at dress barn? just kidding. I just like knowing there is a clothing store called dress barn. it makes me happy.
You can totally avoid maternity clothes, trust me! Especially now that the current style of dress and shirt seems made to make one look pregnant even when not.
When I was knocked up (7 years ago, geez), though I got some stuff from Pea and Motherhood, I basically lived in men's jeans (the perfect waist-hip ratio for the first two trimesters) and belted wrap-style cardigans that I just didn't bother to wrap. I so wish H&M had been around when I was pregnant, I totally would have rocked that crap, too.
Even the cutest maternity stuff still looks too, well, maternal for most folks we know and love -- but, seriously, you can get away with buying big stuff and just playing with the proportions (I remember seeing SFist Mary Ladd in a great red skirt that she had just pulled up over her belly, looked fantastic!) before the final weeks where you'll give in and go RobinSF's route.
Eve, Good tips. In fact, all I wear are non-maternity dresses (and occasionally the one pair of jeans I got at Motherhood Maternity). I went out and bought 12 or so dresses that I can grow into and wear afterwards. Unfortunately, while jeans are OK to wear at work, sweats are not. I just couldn't believe how limited Pea was.
Congratulations...
So, pregnant women aren't allowed to look attractive? Please. Also, I'm sick of the pejorative use of "breeders" being acceptable. Maybe I'll start calling people "barrens" and see if they like it just as much.
Deborah, have you checked out some store called Due? I don't know much about it but a pregnant friend who wasn't freakishly skinny really liked her options there.
Sounds like most of the problem is that even with the best available maternity clothing, people can still tell you're pregnant.
NB: "Barren" implies the person doesn't have a choice in not having children.
Granted. However, "breeders" implies a subhuman, animalistic mentality of single-minded procreation, which isn't always the case.
Just what the world needs, another resource- consuming, hydrocarbon-burning, waste-maunfacturing human. Probably produced by a so-called progressive environmentalist too.
Chris, you have neither clue nor idea as to what you're talking about.
Oh please, the global warming argument with regards to having children is so 2005. If every educated/informed person decided not to have kids for that reason, the world would start to look like Idiocracy. Scary thought.
Chris: The rules are different if you know the person. Come on!
If every educated/informed person decided to adopt rather than fulfill their vain desire to spread their genes, that's not such a scary thought.
Anyway, just promise to move off to the suburbs so your kid doesn't ruin it for me every time I try to eat at a restaurant.
i'm convinced that only suburban moms shop at that shitty store. my wife wouldn't be caught dead in anything from the crap hole.
go to due maternity on california way out near laurel village.
awesome clothes you'll want to wear even after you lose the weight.
congrats!
I have to pipe up that there's a reason for malls and mall stores. I like to think I'm above them and all, but sometimes they have the only kind of stores that sell something basic enough to do anything with. Plus, $108 for jeans when you're getting ready to have a baby? Please, I don't spend that much on myself now (and I don't have kids)!
Target's supposed to have a good maternity section now (led by a designer who was once, gasp, pregnant herself!)... Are they actually any good?
Target's maternity clothes are fug and I think made out of potato sacks. Quality fabric is still important to me, which I believe is NOT a trait of a progressive environmentalist. LOLs.
I only wish Target had that maternity section when I was preggers. Sorry, I think the stuff is cute. I pretty much lived in Gap and Old Navy maternity, which is more functional than hella good looking, hey, it's all about that inner glow anyway, right? Japanese Weekend maternity knickers are truly the best, though.
bluecanary, I totally feel for you with those clothing and diaper bag options. Things have definitely changed for the better in that arena.
I only wish Target had that maternity section when I was preggers. Sorry, I think the stuff is cute. I pretty much lived in Gap and Old Navy maternity, which is more functional than hella good looking, hey, it's all about that inner glow anyway, right? Japanese Weekend maternity knickers are truly the best, though.
bluecanary, I totally feel for you with those clothing and diaper bag options. Things have definitely changed for the better in that arena.
YELP IT!!
That's how my non-pregnant size 8 ass felt when I went into Bebe...does this store have anything other than size 00 (yes, it exists) to size 4?! WTF.
Also, I'm not sure how far along you are, but have you looked into those Bella Bands or B Buckles? You can use them to extend the waist of your regular jeans for a while...
Deborah,
Congrats!
One easy solution is to become a nudist.
Work from home, have Safeway on Monterey deliver your food, and put the damn garbage bins out weekly after midnight since everyone in the Sunnyside crashes by 10PM
Or your loyal and faithful ist fans could hold a sewing bee for you. Schmatas made to order!
Not to hijack the topic, but the stupid people are breeding at a faster rate than the educated ones. For every intentional pregnancy by an educated woman who decides when in her life to procreate, there are dozens popping out around that one like skittles. The social landscape, while not quite yet a scene out of Idiocracy, will be much more dumbed down. (watch the Jay Leno 'Jaywalking' segment for further proof) Your little bundle of joy, the product of an ideal, healthy, loving, well educated family will have to contend with the throw aways, the oopsies and the ones left behind. And "they" are quickly becoming the majority.
p.s.
No ill will meant by the "breeder" term. I specifically chose not to have kids. Good luck with baby.
p.s.s.
that sweat pants idea is going to sound better and better the closer you get to month 9
; )
Chris,
You're right, it is just what the world needs. What it doesn't need more of is people like you.
Why such a dick, Robin? You have two kids and a wife who would likely choose to wear something more flattering than sweatpants should she conceive again.
Why such a dick, Robin? You have two kids and a wife who would likely choose to wear something more flattering than sweatpants should she conceive again.
Congrats Deborah! Good luck finding decent threads. From what I've seen my friends go through recently, all maternity clothing sucks. Even the cuter/expensive stuff.
Sorry but I've always liked the Breeders.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AsId-qVIb4
Too bad about Kelley Deal's smack habit.
Wow, Pumpkinhead's mom revealed!