Did you know that the "North of Market Holiday Celebration" is coming up? Neither did we! And neither did the rest of the internet, because there's no mention of the (possibly-fictitious) event anywhere else online. What could it possibly be? We simply couldn't find any information or imagery related to the damn thing; and that's why we decided to run this totally-unrelated picture from a few weeks ago.

Anyway, Muni claims that they'll be closing Jones Street between McAllister Street and Golden Gate Avenue on Saturday (tomorrow!) for this so-called celebration from 8am to 5pm. We're suspicious about this "Jones Street" -- sounds like a pseudonym to us. Frankly, the whole thing stinks of a cover-up. After all, what is there north of Market to celebrate? Aside from Bob, of course.

Oh, also, there's some kind of football thing happening, or whatever.

After the jump: details! Bus lines! And the word "more" repeated three times for no discernible reason!

Here's the "facts," as sent to us by Muni:

SFMTA Announces Transit and Traffic Impacts this Weekend

The San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) advises San Francisco residents and visitors of the following event-related traffic and transit impacts this weekend, Saturday, December 15—Sunday, December 16, 2007. Event participants and fun seekers should check with www.sfmta.com or call 311 to find out which of the 80 Muni lines will get them where they want to go.

North of Market Holiday Celebration

On Saturday, December 15, from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. the North of Market Holiday Celebration will require the closure of Jones Street between McAllister Street and Golden Gate Avenue.

49ers Football Game

The 49ers will host a home game on Sunday, December 15 against the Cincinnati

Bengals at 5:15 p.m. at Monster Park. Drivers should expect delays on city streets near the park and US 101 before and after the game.

For service to and from the game, Muni customers can take the K/T-Third Line to the Gilman/Paul station and transfer to the Football Shuttle. The Football Shuttle is free for T-Third customers who simply show a transfer.

Pre-game Service to Monster Park:

· 9X-Monster Park Express – from Sutter and Sansome

· 28X-Monster Park Express – from California and Funston

· 47X-Monster Park Express – from California and Van Ness

· 86S-Monster Park Shuttle – from Bacon and San Bruno

more – more – more

49ers Football Game, continued

Post-game Service from Monster Park:

· 9X-San Bruno Express – to Kearny & Sutter

· 28L-19th Ave. Limited – to Park Presidio & California

· 47-Van Ness – to Van Ness & North Point

· 86S-Monster Park Shuttle – to Bacon & San Bruno

All of the above routes, except the 86S-Monster Park Shuttle, are Special Event Fare Service with an adult fare of $7.00 roundtrip. Please go to www.sfmta.com

for fare details.

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For more information on Muni service, please call the San Francisco Customer Service Center at 311 or visit www.sfmta.com . For additional information on Muni's Accessible Services Program, please call (415) 701-4485 or TTY (415) 701-4730.