Everyone's behaving a little bit funny this weekend, and it's throwing the city's transit into a tizzy. An absolute tizzy! We haven't been this tizzied in MONTHS.

First, there's Critical Mass. Lots of people firmly believe that something is be gained by proving that bicyclists are just as capable of causing gridlock and frustration as motorists, and they'll be doing just that ... um ... yesterday. Sorry about the late notice.

Then there's a pilgrimage to Our Lady of Guadalupe on Saturday, the First. Guadalupe is the patron saint of, oh who knows, let's say cantaloupes. According to Muni, the parade will be disrupting traffic from 6am to 2pm -- wait, 6am? Seriously? Geez. If someone asked us to get out of bed at 6am on a Saturday, we'd be like, "that better be one hell of a melon."

Then there's the "Fantasy of Light Parade," some bullshit Disney knockoff that some stores on Union Street made up, on Saturday at 6pm. Even though it's about as meaningful as a fondue pot in a Yankee Swap, somebody's bound to enjoy it. Check it out if you are an enthusiast of lights or fantasies.

Full details after the jump.

SFMTA Announces Transit and Traffic Impacts this Weekend

The San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) advises San Francisco residents and visitors of the following event-related traffic and transit impacts this weekend, Friday, November 30—Sunday, December 2, 2007. Event participants and fun seekers should check with www.sfmta.com or call 311 to find out which of the 80 Muni lines will get them where they want to go.

Critical Mass

On Friday, November 30 at 6:00 p.m. the Critical Mass bicycle ride will begin from Justin Herman Plaza.

Pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe

The annual Pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe will take place Saturday, December 1, from 6:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Streets along the procession route may be congested and affect Muni bus lines.

The event consists of a 12-mile walk from All Soul's Church in South San Francisco to St. Mary's Cathedral on Geary Boulevard. The route in San Francisco begins by heading north on Mission Street from Sickles Avenue, continues north on Van Ness Avenue to Ellis Street, west on Ellis to Gough Street, and north on Gough to Geary Boulevard.

No closures or transit re-routes are planned. SFPD will provide traffic control along the route.

Fantasy of Light Parade

The annual Fantasy of Light Parade, sponsored by the Union Street Merchants Association, will take place on Saturday, December 1 at 6:00 p.m.

Streets along the parade route may be congested and the affected Muni bus lines, the 22-Fillmore and the 45-Union/Stockton, may experience delays. SFPD will provide traffic control along the route.