Wanted: Barry Bonds-ish Actor, Ready for His Close Up

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HBO bought the rights to Game of Shadows: Barry Bonds, BALCO and the Steroids Scandal That Rocked Professional Sport, the infamous book penned by Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams. According to a sister over at Variety, in it Bonds is "painted in 'Game of Shadows' as a gifted player who made a Faustian bargain to increase his power." (Might we suggest Damn Giants as a working title, then?)

Ron Shelton -- auteur of such testosterone-enriched films as Bull Durham, Tin Cup, Ty Cobb biopic Cobb, and White Men Can't Jump -- is tapped to direct the film once the WGA strike ends.

We hope that this picture ends up more about the man that is Barry Bonds, not about the heroic reporters who broke the story. We don't want to have to sit through another one of these. And no word yet on who will play Bonds. Any suggestions?

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I suggest Dave Chapelle--until 1997--where Ving Rhames would then assume the role.

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Yeah, how are they going to portray somebody with a freaklishy large head, bloated body, and shrunken testicles?

I heard Angelina Jollee wants to don the blackface again, though I don't know how they're going to shrink her nards.

Are they going to film it in reverse? Have the actor, um, work out a lot before filming and then have him stop? ;)

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