Happy 4th of July!
The Haight Street Underworld
Giants Clobber The Astros, 13-0
SFist Tonight
How the church appeared on November 13.
This Friday -- Black Friday -- Michaela Alioto-Pier's little neighborhood that thrives on ridicule will become a little more ridicule-less. At 9 a.m., Pacific Standard Time, on the day of November twenty-third, two thousand and seven, the store at 2125 Chestnut will open its doors. And at that moment? Apple will welcome in its third San Francisco store, completing the trilogy started by its flagship location on Stockton Street and the other one in the Stonestown Mall.
According to Apple Insider, the new store will psychotically slash "dozens of items below retail cost." Yay. Or whatever. And other than zealous Mac fans smashing the shop's hymen with aplomb, we have no idea what to expect. Will there be middle-of-the-road entertainment, like the music heard on Mac commercials? Will Alioto-Pier roll on by to welcome the nerdy throngs? Will they convert us to using Mac? (Never!) Will they have free stuff? It's practically almost exciting!
PS, we almost forgot! A little tip: on store-opening days such as this, it's extraordinarily easy to swipe items because the store alarms aren't always on during the first day, rumor has it. Take, for example, the Bloomingdale's opening last year. Apparently, the alarms weren't on and vile society tools (allegedly) walked out of the department store with designer names shoved into their purses. This is something they know, we're told. Even the stores figure it in to their opening-night budget, or whatever. Is it true? Who cares? It's a great story. (Note, this may be for private openings only, but...hey, it can't hurt to try.)
Anyway, you should have a designated sacrificial lamb ready to go -- you know, have a buddy or your little blessing "accidentally" walk out of the store with an iPod. If the alarm doesn't sound, you're all good to go! Now, don't say SFist never do anything for you. Unless you're arrested for shoplifting, in which case you're on your own.
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It's not gonna happen, but if they actually had a live band, it could actually be cool. At least one of the iPod commercials features a local band, Honeycut, playing "Exodus Honey".
That's not even their best song by far, but Bart Davenport and Company are pretty good as a live act (I saw them open for Von Iva at 12 Galaxies a couple of months ago at the latter's CD release party).
Gorgeous dreamy genius gay icon Rufus Wainwright performed for the opening (sort of) of the flagship store on Stockton.
It was fabulous!
Are you seriously advocating people steal from the Apple store? Are you fucking insane? I knew you were an asshole, Brock, but this proves you are truly a douchebag.
I hope someone runs you down with their car.
Notorious, I printed out your comment and tacked it to put wall. I heart you! Thanks.
Yes, because a joke about shoplifting is proof of douchbaggery in a way that expressing a desire that someone experience vehicular injury could never, ever be.
word was this store was due to open a while ago but some issues with the building delayed the final opening to now. Apple is remodeling all the stores and has finished most of them in the Bay Area to make them better for customers.
Providing tips on shoplifting and examples of successful executions of such tips is hardly a joke. It's advocating theft. Let's not call oranges apples. Not that anyone really pays attention to our esteemed editor when he says such things, but that's a whole other matter.
And here I thought you were on the verge of not hating me, Kay. Man!
Worked in many apple stores. No need to worry about opening day if you want to steal from them. They have no alarms the security can't ask for your receipt or check your bags.
Many high ends stores operate like that these days, but I've never stolen from one because I couldn't live with the karma of knowing the employees who work too hard, get paid too little, and treated like shit by crappy managment will be blamed for it.
Just so 'ya know...
fuck you haters. brock's my boy!
i got the joke brock, as did the rest of us with a sense of humor. i wonder if carl pascarella' wife was one of the shoplifters at bloomies. she's such a you know what.
I think I might be officially too old for this post
Also is Fiest considered middle of the road? Fuck maybe I am old
Not at all. I like Feist. But did you hear her on SNL the other night? I couldn't understand a word coming out of her mouth. (Also, I still watch SNL, so I'm clearly the old one.)
As I was reading this post, I was thinking man Brock's kinda ironic and cynical -- almost, dare I say it, New York -- will people get it? And the answer of course is, "no." Good on you Kay and Notorious for keeping up California's reputation as the Land without Irony. And (bonus!) someone mentioned karma! And here I was missing California...
Brock, I stopped my anti-Brockness when I realized you do not mean to be serious in most things you say. It made you more enjoyable.
Since moving out of Potrero Hill, I've been missing out on shoplifting lessons I used to learn from folks riding in the back of the #15 bus. Thanks for kindling that warm feeling with these tips.
only crafty teenagers and guests on dr. phil get away with shoplifting. i would get caught if i ever tried it. i ditched school ONCE in high school and got caught.
also, kay, i'm glad you're still reading and writing comments here at sfist. look at you making me get all emotional!
Brock invented irony (though none was displayed in the above post) and as for cynicism, would he really have declared his anti-allegiance to white machines? He's a believer in something besides making it grow and making it release it would appear.
Since I don't actually care about the content on the post, I've chosen instead to comment on the sycophants in the comments. Apparently Team Brock rules, Team Brock Sucks drools.