-- The Shining (1980): "Honey, I'm home," "Here's Johnny!" etcetera, etcetera, Kubrick, and so forth. (No one wields a baseball bat like Shelley Duvall. So awkward. Also, what ever happened to her?) Screens at midnight (okay, 11:55 p.m.) at the Clay.

-- Heat: The Endup gets Warholian on you with a club night dedicated to Andrew's Factory and all the wonderful superstars, nuts, and sex symbols it produced. DJ Donimo and DJ6 pump out indie electro remixes. Special drag-y appearances by BeBe Sweetbriar as Donna Summer and Mercedez Munro as Grace Jones. Goes from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. at the Endup; $5.

-- San Francisco Hip Hop Dance Fest: Over 20 hip hop acts have one serious danceoff. It's on. Starts tonight (and continues through Sunday) at 8 p.m. at Palace of Fine Arts; $35.

-- The Jesus Roast: Expect "Jesus, you totally suck!" hilarity -- but much more clever, of course -- as God's hippie offspring gets skewered. Local comedians perform as Friars Club regulars and Biblical celebrities (Howard Stone as Jackie Mason, Will Durst as Judas, Mickey Joseph as Phil Silvers, Marga Gomez as Pontius Pilot, Johnny Steele as Frank Sinatra, Will Franken as Mohammad, Mike Bossier as Alec Baldwin, Debi Durst as The Virgin Mary, Mari Esther Kaplan as Joan Rivers, Tom Smith as Bacchus, Candy Churilla as Mary Magdelan, Colin Mahan as Mel Gibson, Randy Houser as Hercules, Doug Ferrari as Doug Ferrari, Stephanie Goldstein as Mother Theresa, Nick Leonard as Satan, and Kurt Weitzmann as the one and only Jesus H. Fucking Christ -- congratulations, you're all going to straight to hell. See you there), so you really don't to miss this night of sheer, beautiful blasphemy. Starts at 7:30 p.m. at Broadway Studios; $12.