November 7, 2007
Oracle Open World Chaos to Commence
You think Hallwoeen on the Castro is a nightmare of douche-baggie proportions? Try the Oracle Open World 2007 convention, which is happening this Sunday, November 11 through Thursday, November 15. And it sucks for us plebeians. Imagine nerds and sales tools infused with a false sense of power. (Except for any Oracle SFist reader; you're all golden.) Imagine nasty Oracle PR bitches who hangup on local media outlets trying to get a modicum of information on their lavish event. (Not very lady-like.) Imagine being called a "fag" -- twice!-- by drunk Oracle conventioneers while walking past the W Hotel. (Poor, oppressed us!) The horror, indeed.
Okay, granted, we're personalizing this a bit. We digress. But Oracle Open World causes so much congestion in the downtown/SOMA area; we're surprised that this is still allowed to go on. But we can't be that mad at them. Sure, steaming dreck like Billy Joel (oh save it, hipsters) and derivative icon Lenny Kravitz will perform for the Oraclers at the Cow Palace. But also, the witchy enchantress known as one Stevie Nicks will also cast a spell on them, so we'll credit Oracle with some semblance of taste. But just some.
Oh, and we almost forget to mention this exciting gem: Howard Street will be closed between 3rd and 4th Streets, continuously for 10 days beginning at 8 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday, November 8. until 6:00 a.m. on Saturday, November 17 to accommodate the bastards event. So, if any of you planned on driving to Bloomingdale's, the Metreon, the St. Regis, or Yerba Buena Gardens, you're out of luck. (More about the convention's traffic impact from SFMTA after the jump.)
SFMTA Announces Traffic Impacts for Oracle WorldThe San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) advises San Francisco residents and visitors of traffic impacts expected during Oracle Open World, which will occur at the Moscone Center from Sunday, November 11 through Thursday, November 15, 2007. More than 40,000 attendees are expected to attend the event.
Howard Street will be closed between 3rd Street and 4th Street continuously for 10 days beginning at 8:00 p.m. on Thursday, November 8, 2007 until 6:00 a.m. on Saturday, November 17 to accommodate the event.
Significant traffic congestion is anticipated in and around Moscone Center between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. daily for the duration of the closure. Motorists are encouraged to take public transit or use alternate routes.
The two primary detour routes:For those traveling westbound on Howard Street, the detour will direct traffic south on 2nd Street to Harrison Street.
For those traveling from north of Market on Montgomery, the detour will direct southbound traffic from New Montgomery, westbound on Howard, and south on Hawthorne to either Folsom or Harrison.
Detour signs and traffic message boards are installed along Howard Street and the detour routes. Caltrans will also activate message signs on major freeways entering the city to notify motorists of the closure.
SFMTA Parking Control Officers and San Francisco Police Officers will be deployed at key intersections prior to and during the closure.
The SFMTA's Parking and Traffic Division and Muni Operations have worked closely with the Mayor's Office, SFPD and the San Francisco Fire Department in developing the traffic control plan. Attached is a detailed PDF of the event location showing detour routes.
If you would like to receive a faxed copy of the event PDF, please send an email with your fax number and "Oracle Open World Map" in the subject line to kristen.holland@sfmta.com.
|
Jesus Christ, relax about the conference. Why is it allowed to go on? Because it's huge, and great for the city. I work right nearby and last year, it wasn't that big of a deal.
You shouldn't be driving down here anyway. Take the bus or take a cab.
Am I reading this correctly? Did you expect a rash of comments about Billy Joel being cool? That would only happen in Long Island, 5 years ago.
As for the other thing, I believe you said it best "So, if any of you bastards planned on driving to Bloomingdale's, the Metreon, the St. Regis, or Yerba Buena Gardens, you're out of luck."
Worse than dorks, database dorks. Personally I really hate the celebration of the mundane. Yes nothing would work without Oracle, but the world would collapse without bleach too, where's the big BleachFest 2007?
Dorks, your place in the natural order of things is to toil away in the background making the lives of the golden gods like myself, that much easier. We don't want to see you, we don't need to know you exist. Get back below decks and keep shovelling coal into the boiler, you're standing in the way of the my moonlit view. Ooooh look, an iceberg.
And Billy Joel is cool actually. He drives a 2CV whilst drunk. Ha, ha, midget Lenny Kravitz playing to a room full of sweaty database engineers. Lisa Bonnet just keeps sticking those pins in the voodoo doll, eh Lenny?
Does Larry Ellison donate any of his billions to the Glide Foundation's Thanksgiving Dinner? Hmmm.... he's too busy ordering boats that are specifically longer than Paul Allen's (Microsoft's co-founder) boats.
They did this last year. Yawn.
BTW best way to get across Market after 3 PM: Take 7th all the way to Leavenworth. Don't even think about any lesser-numbered street. This applies even when nothing is going on at Moscone.
I used to go to these events because anyone can go into the exhibit hall for free if they register early enough.
All I'd do is just get all the free crap they can give me, from nice shopping bags to flashlights.
All it takes is a 97 year old driver to go barrelling through the baricades and into the tent to stop this thing coming back next year. Gentlemen, start your Oldsmobiles.
Oh, for crying out loud. Imagine if the city made decisions this way.
"Hey Oracle, it's great that your convention makes a lot of money for the city and all, but we think you guys are kind of dorky and tacky, and your bad musical taste is diluting our city's hipper-than-thou factor. So take Oracle Open World 2007 somewhere else, SUCKAS!"
Agent510, i don't think i made myself clear, and for that i apologize. see: they're not upsetting a large group of people; they're upsetting ME. clearly, that's why they should stop the show immediately.
When will these anti-car fanatics cease their war against everything that is good and holy?
If you can get into the keynote speech, you'll see enterprise-level douchiness when Larry Ellison speaks.
We lawngilanders say that Billy Joel stopped being cool after ... well, shit, after he divorced Christy Brinkley I guess. He's just another rich jerk who built a house he never lived in and crashes into Suffolk's finest flora and fauna.
As for our Oracle friends, well, I say we get a few clap-laden pros working around Moscone this year. Really give them something to remember San Francisco by...
i'm no larry fanboy but he does give 100 million a year away. gotta say big ups to that:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/01/31/MNG62H06991.DTL
There are no 97 year old drivers in SF ready to go all Santa Barbara on us. They've all been run over.
I disagree. My cab driver the other night must have been about 140. He stopped at all the green lights on Pine. I think he was on the lookout for a Mexican navy press gang or some of those "Orientals who are building the railroad". I swear he was the guy who shot Mayor Washington Allon Bartlett.
Agent 510: I could care less about the greater good of the city. It's all about me and my hatred of Sketchers worn as dress shoes.
My mom manages many of the booths for this show :)
Though I'd let you all know...
Thought*
except for your mother, jess, of course. (sorry!)
Wow I bet those booths are really interesting. Please save me some of those handouts. Do they have leftover whitepapers?
This will be the most exciting thing to hit SF until those wild boys from the Medical Equipment Leasing Solutions show comes to town.
Can't they do this in Modesto? If I can't get a table at Townhall because some enterprise solutions VP has the place booked, I'll start keying BMWs in Woodside again.
Sucka - I'd hardly count giving $100 million to charity by court order as Larry Ellison giving to charity. He did some Martha Stewart a la Immclone style trading on his own stock, it sounds like, and he got nailed in the process. The $100 million to charity doesn't appear to be voluntary on his part, according to that article.
"The suit was settled in November in San Mateo Superior Court -- Ellison agreed to donate $100 million to charity and pay $22 million to lawyers out of his own pocket -- but the settlement is being appealed by a shareholder. "
ouch, you're right rincon. this guy is the king of all douches:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Ellison
how embarrassing to work for a guy like that.
I’m attending OpenWorld for the second time. It’s actually a fun time, excellent technical information for my job and the vendor cocktail parties, lunches, dinners and entertainment are great. San Francisco is nice place and makes a ton of money off this event. Sure there is going to be some traffic but I would guess there is still traffic here with out us. You claim to have been called a fag twice but you don’t have any problem calling people dork, bitches and bastards, seems a little hypocritical. Instead of worrying about the traffic try helping out the multitude of homeless people here get off the streets. Just remember the next time your text’ing, watching HDTV, emailing or standing in front of the cash register at Bloomingdales its technology that makes it happen…