November 7, 2007
But of Course: Falafels = Terrorism
When times are tough, homeland security never fails to amuse. To wit:
According to CQ Politics, the FBI combed through customer data collected by SF and Bay Area grocery stores in 2005 and 2006. Why? To see what amount of Middle Eastern food products were purchased, with the hopes that this info would lead authorities to the sweet spot: Iranian terrorists.
"The idea was that a spike in, say, falafel sales, combined with other data, would lead to Iranian secret agents in the south San Francisco-San Jose area," says CQP. But what about us here in north SF? We feel left out. We're just as good a spot to harbor terrorists as South-SF. Hrumph.
They go on to say that the ethnic foods-cum-terrorist study was conceived by FBI counterterrorism officials Phil Mudd and Willie T. Hulon. But the investigation was shot down right-quick by the head of the FBI's criminal investigations division, Michael A. Mason, who reasonably thought that the idea of placing someone on a terrorist list for they food they buy was inane -- "and possibly illegal."
FBI spokesman Paul Bresson wouldn't say whether or not the bureau ran such an investigation. “It sounds pretty sensational to mes" he said. And tasty, too. Heh.
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I'm as white as can be, but if you went solely by my falafel and hummus consumption you'd think I was the head of Al Qaeda.
pancakebreakfast wrote: "I'm as white as can be, but if you went solely by my falafel and hummus consumption you'd think I was the head of Al Qaeda."
you killed daniel pearl!
First they came for the falafel, and I did not speak out - because, I mean, WTF?, you can buy falafel everywhere!
Then they came for the hummus and I did not speak out - because hummus makes me fart like a bull.
Next thay came for the baba ganoush, and, well, they have have that stuff.
Next they came for the ....
Yet more proof that Homeland Security is well-staffed with imbeciles: falafel and hummus, those delicious gifts from Allah/Baby Jesus/whoever, are NOT Iranian foods. They're Arabic. But it doesn't matter, because all terrorists are the same, right?
Anyway, if this investigation in any way threatens Parkside Farmer's Market (aka Middle Eastern Grocery Disneyland), I'll be the first one out with a "Save My Hummus" sign.
vegetarians must be terrorists. i suspected it all along!
Damn, now I've got a hankering for falafel and I can't tell if it's from hunger or disloyalty.
If you do not have the lamb shawarma then the terrorists have won!
These comments are cracking me up.
And making me crave falafel.
They'll have to tear the Traditional Falafel Wrap from Noe Valley Deli from my stuffed-to-the-gills-but-still-craving-more-with-extra-hot-sauce-please cold dead hands!
They could be Israeli terrorists too. The falafel on the western side of the wall is excellent.
Of course the Israelis will be known by their McShawarma.