![_Here Are Five Videos Of Marina Dudes Stripping [NSFW]](http://sfist.com/assets_c/2012/05/mrmarina_640_00-thumb-250x250-716598.jpg)
Halloween in the Castro: Live!
We'll do the partying and/or dying, so you don't have to.
Homebound denizens of San Francisco, the Bay Area, and the world at large. Our editor, Brock, will be coming at you live from the Castro all night. We'll bring you live reportage of the costumes, "unsanctioned gaiety," Dachau-like police state, public urination, and/or absolutely nothing happening at all whatsoever. Stay tuned.
10:45 Update: That's it. We're done here, folks. If there's a shooting or a Cher spotting, you'll have to read about it tomorrow. The Castro's lukewarm vibe has worn thin. Now we're off to Polk Street for some action! No, not really. We're actually heading to the St. Regis for Bloody Marys. Jealous? Don't be.
Thanks for reading! Now go to bed.
10:35 Update: Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick Girl has and will forever be a cool costume.
10:30 Update: There's some sort of commotion going on at the Castro MUNI station. Looks like some sort of dance off.
Also, Hot Cookie is open and crowd-free. Wish they had a Jell-o shot to spare. Alas.
10:25 Update: Did we mention that it's a bit of a police state at Castro and Market? Because it is. Our Orange County senses are tingling. Hard.
10:20 Update: No booze to be sipped, as of now. Starting to get the shakes. God help us.
Jump to the past, if you dare. Mwah ha ha!
10:10 Update: Many of the bars and restaurants aren't closed, so much as they are closed to...you. Places like Lime and Twin Peaks are having private parties. Many of the gays, it seems, are simply encased in glass. Protected.
9:45 Update: Spare a drop of vodka? Anyone?
[That means Brock needs a drink, like real bad. Somebody save him!]
9:40 Update: First (very rude!) "Dick in a Box" dude, wearing Oakley's. Is this brand of eye wear really part of the outfit? No. But yes.
9:30 Update: Badlands remains open for business, as of now. This is our only choice? Really? Bah!
9:15 Update: There's a bit of a crowd forming at Castro and Market, but it's contained to the sidewalks. Like cattle.
Also, wearing your bathrobes, gentlemen, is not a costume.
9:05 Update: Metro, open. Lucky 13, closed. Newly remodeled Mecca, loud, clangy, and annoying. Pfft.
8:45 Update: SFPD Chief Heather Fong is on the street beat, along with the FBI at Haight and Market.
8:35 Update: 7th and Market is docile and eerie. Strange. Lots of (attractive) cops everywhere. Also, there's a sad, zaftig Goth girl in front of us crying. Hysterically. We can't shake her. The poor thing.
8:15 Update: On Market and Fifth. Already we spot pot-smoking hooligans and three people dressed as Dwight Schrute from The Office. Scared and cold.
7:45 Update: Fine. We put on a smear of eyeliner. What the hell.
7:35 Update: Heading out the door. We're not wearing a costume this year. (Like last year, the year before that.) We just don't have it in us. Also, we're sober. For now.