October 25, 2007
SF Man Arrested in Connection with Bayview Convent Fire

How do you solve a problem like an Mathew Hinz?
This morning the 18-year-old fire-starter was arrested for setting ablaze the Good Shepherd Convent, on 10/13. The front and back doors were set on fire during the early hours of 5 a.m. that day. But what makes this story particularly near-gruesome was the fact that six nuns were sleeping inside while he tried immolating their house of worship. Fortunately, the half-dozen nuns escaped unharmed.
Hinz has been "booked on suspicion of attempted murder, arson of an inhabited dwelling, arson of a place of worship (is that a separate crime from just plain ol' arson? huh), and possession of flammable materials." Also, God is extremely cross with him right now.


Many of us who went to catholic schools always had fantasies of revenge against the sadastic, face-slapping penguins.
However, isn't arson taking it a bit far? We settled for glue or dog-poo on their seats.
Ah, the good old days.
Thinking of what the nuns taught us of judgement day:
Ah yes, I've been waiting for you my son.
> gulp
You're the fellow who tried to french fry some of my nun chicks, right?
>gulp
Show him the express elevator DOWN, so he will experience eternal burning and hopeless searing of flesh.
Church-and-synagogue-burning was a favorite hate-crime of yore, I guess it would make historic sense that it would have its own penalties on the books.
Hmm, as long as Bush is vetoing hate-crime protection for gays, maybe he'd also like to take a look at repealing hate-crime protection for churches.
I think you want the word "convent" not "covent" in your hed. Unless, was this a coven of nuns, perhaps?