October 25, 2007
SF Man Arrested in Connection with Bayview Convent Fire
How do you solve a problem like an Mathew Hinz?
This morning the 18-year-old fire-starter was arrested for setting ablaze the Good Shepherd Convent, on 10/13. The front and back doors were set on fire during the early hours of 5 a.m. that day. But what makes this story particularly near-gruesome was the fact that six nuns were sleeping inside while he tried immolating their house of worship. Fortunately, the half-dozen nuns escaped unharmed.
Hinz has been "booked on suspicion of attempted murder, arson of an inhabited dwelling, arson of a place of worship (is that a separate crime from just plain ol' arson? huh), and possession of flammable materials." Also, God is extremely cross with him right now.
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Many of us who went to catholic schools always had fantasies of revenge against the sadastic, face-slapping penguins.
However, isn't arson taking it a bit far? We settled for glue or dog-poo on their seats.
Ah, the good old days.
Thinking of what the nuns taught us of judgement day:
Ah yes, I've been waiting for you my son.
> gulp
You're the fellow who tried to french fry some of my nun chicks, right?
>gulp
Show him the express elevator DOWN, so he will experience eternal burning and hopeless searing of flesh.
Church-and-synagogue-burning was a favorite hate-crime of yore, I guess it would make historic sense that it would have its own penalties on the books.
Hmm, as long as Bush is vetoing hate-crime protection for gays, maybe he'd also like to take a look at repealing hate-crime protection for churches.
I think you want the word "convent" not "covent" in your hed. Unless, was this a coven of nuns, perhaps?