October 16, 2007
We're All Gonna Die: Staph "Superbug"
Katie Couric just looked freaked out as all hell telling us about it, but that might be because she's about to lose her job. Still, a drug-resistant staph "superbug," might result in the deaths of each and every one of us! Fatalities may exceed AIDS-related deaths! By tomorrow! No, by tonight!
No, not really.
But read more about the x-treme hysteria and terrible invasive infection here and here, and about a recent staph-related death here. And don't come crying to us saying you didn't hear anything about it when you're on your deathbed, kids.
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that is some scary shit. why haven't the homeless died of this yet? maybe it's time to start experimenting on them for a cure?
I would watch a retarded weasel --no -- Ron Burgundy --no-- Kelsey Grammer's pale imitation of Ron Burgundy -- before I would watch Katie Couric read one goddamn syllable from a teleprompter.
Why? Because I like my lame old-media infotainment delivered chauvinist-style, the way God intended it.
So, all the germ phobic people were right after all. Howard Hughes rolled paper towels on the floor of his penthouse whenever he walked. Tissues needed to touch a doorknob.
Next time I'm on MUNI, it's purple glove time and a sheet of newspaper on the seat. No shaking hands either.
Sex in a full body condom [hefty bag with a hole]
In restrooms, my body will never touch a toi-toi again. Does Clorox come in mini sparay cans?