For those of you sad folks who had to "come out" to your parents and loved ones, as opposed to overhearing them arrive at that conclusion on their own as you danced around the living room to "Bibbiti Bobbiti Boo" at age five, we congratulate you. In your honor, today is National Coming Out Day: laughter, tears.

And just who will come out on this most pointless day of days? Matthew McConaughey? Wolverine? That one guy on that one show you think you saw one time at the Cafe? 50 Cent? Your mother?

And don't worry if you don't come out today. You have an entire year to stew in shame until next year's NCOD.