Blocker: 400 Cortland

There’s more local color along this stretch of Cortland on a Thursday afternoon than we could ever shoehorn into a 600-word piece. But some moments are too rich to overlook, such as the giant of a man, heavily tattooed and bling’d, sporting a vintage Michael Jordan jersey, and proudly putting the “man” back in “manicure” at Bernal Heights Nail Care. In fact, he may be the most content-looking person on the block, getting pampered in that easy chair like that.

As with all the strategic bench placement, few shopping districts use the sandwich board to such advantage as Cortland. Bernal Yoga trumpets its “Restorative Workshop with Kate”; the folks at Heartfelt, a floral-and-more shop, would like it known they’ve got sun parasols on offer; and down at longtime watering hole Wild Side West, which looks directly plucked from 1890s Carson City had that town been originally populated with lesbians rather than mustachioed silver prospectors, the sidewalk ad simply blares, “Wild Side West is KUMBAYA!”

Meanwhile, the pair of wise guys on the bench outside Good Life Grocery don’t miss much. When a truck’s stereo rolls by playing “Sexual Healing,” they loudly join Marvin Gaye on the chorus...perhaps a little too loudly, but hey, it’s almost 5PM around here. Whenever acquaintances walk by on the sidewalk, emphatic conversation is engaged. One of them even gives us a special “hello” when we photograph the corner near where they’re seated. (See photo.)

Gentility returns to the fore back up near Red Hill Books, where a local fellow looks awfully excited to be simply carrying a basket of dirty laundry up to Bernal Bubbles on the next block. The pony-tailed man continues to nurse his beverage on the bench outside Progressive Grounds, pretending to read a book but really just sitting there drinking coffee. There’s a small group enjoying the café’s back patio, and we hear Wild Side West and Liberty Café boast inviting rear gardens as well.

Much of Cortland’s allure lies in how it clearly knows the value of relaxing and sitting a spell. If the Lower Haight has San Francisco’s highest concentration of turntables, and the Outer Richmond has the most space heaters in use during the summer months, perhaps Bernal Heights features the highest number of sidewalk benches per block? At any rate, it’s San Francisco’s finest example of the anti-gated community, and here’s to that.