Where's JaMarcus?

With negotiations still going nowhere between JaMarcus Russell and the Raiders and the season about to begin, SFist brings you the Top 10 Things JaMarcus Russell Will be Doing this Weekend:

10) Rooting for his fantasy football QB, Donovan McNabb, to put up lots of points
9) Calling Falcons' owner Arthur Blank every five minutes to ask him how Joey Harrington is doing
8) Lobbying congress to do something about Darfur
7) Attending the Peaches Christ Retrospective
6) Conducting job interviews for people who want to be members of his entourage (and why VH-1 doesn't have a reality show about celebrities choosing members of their entourage is beyond us)
5) Finishing "the Brothers Karamazov"
4) Downloading all those "leaked" new Britney songs
3) Calling up Jenna Fischer and asking for a date now that she's single again
2) Watching "Flight of the Conchords" on On Demand
1) Kicking back on a Barcalounger, opening a beer, and laughing hysterically as Josh McNown tries to lead the Raiders to victory