American Football Spectacular: Your Complete 2007 NFL Regular Season Guesstimate
Thank goodness. Let the blessed distraction begin.
For just a little while, there there be kickoffs and touchdowns and the illusion of a level playing field.
Tonight, it's time for the National Football League's 2007 regular season to begin. Wonderful.
So, here's how we think it'll go.
In this preview, each division's teams are ranked in order of their predicted finish from first to last. Then, musical acts from each NFL team's area are presented in the same order. Read that over again before reacting: we're not ranking the music, just the NFL teams.
And you? Agree? Disagree? Confused? That's what the comment section is for. Let's talk. We can suss this out.
Please note, there will only be bands from New Jersey representing the "New York" franchises due to the NJ location of Giants Stadium at The Meadowlands. Simple as that.
Image of wintry goalposts via NFL.com: "General view of goal posts during a snowy Monday Night Football game between the Green Bay Packers and the Seattle Seahawks at Qwest Field in Seattle, Washington on November 27, 2006. Photo by Kirby Lee /WireImage"
As always, all predictions are guaranteed by American Football Spectacular to have been made with the best of intentions, and no real surety.
O, football; we're glad that you're back. The predictions commence after the jump.
AFC East:
New England; New York Jets; Buffalo; Miami.
Pixies; The Bouncing Souls; Ani DiFranco; Gloria Estefan.
AFC North:
Baltimore; Cincinnati; Pittsburgh; Cleveland.
Dan Deacon; Bootsy Collins; Anti-Flag; The Black Keys.
AFC South:
SFist Eve's Indianapolis Colts; Jacksonville; Tennessee; Houston.
Margot And The Nuclear So And So's; Limp Bizkit; Dolly Parton; Paul Wall.
AFC West:
San Diego; Denver; Oakland; Kansas City.
Hot Snakes; Winger; Neurosis; Burt Bacharach.
NFC East:
Dallas; Philly; The New York American Football Giants; Washington DC.
Meat Loaf; Armalite; The Dillinger Escape Plan; The Evens.
NFC North:
Chicago; Minnesota; Green Bay; Detroit.
The Arrivals; Dillinger Four; Rev. Norb; The White Stripes.
NFC South:
New Orleans; Carolina; Tampa Bay; Atlanta.
Preservation Hall Jazz Band; Superchunk; Cannibal Corpse; MF DOOM.
NFC West:
San Francisco; Seattle; St. Louis; Arizona.
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes; Modest Mouse; Nelly; Jimmy Eat World.
Image of Ed Reed via baltimoresun.com. Caption: Baltimore's Ed Reed comes up with a third quarter interception against the Dallas Cowboys. (Sun photo by David Hobby / November 21, 2004)
Most Valuable Player: QB Peyton Manning, IND
Coach Of The Year: Eric Mangini, NYJ
Defensive Player Of The Year: FS Ed Reed, BAL
Offensive Player Of The Year: QB Peyton Manning, IND
Defensive Rookie Of The Year: LB Patrick Willis, SF
Offensive Rookie Of The Year: WR Calvin Johnson, DET
AFC Championship Game: Baltimore at New England
NFC Championship Game: Dallas at Chicago
Super Bowl XLII: After surviving a January game in New England, the Baltimore Ravens will utilize their powerful defense to bat about the Dallas Cowboys and handily take Super Bowl XLII.