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The Haight Street Underworld
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SFist Tonight
And now for another big city's mildly retarded view of San Francisco:
Too much ink has been spilled and too much bandwidth used to praise/bury Critical Mass in length. Now the LA Times gets in on the action. We'd love to break it down for you, but it's a long article and we don't bike or drive; more or less, it's stuff you've heard before.
So, we present to you some choice quotes from the article taken totally out of context. Enjoy.
"When Critical Mass hits the streets, bikes rule. Sometimes with sharp elbows..."
"...woman with orange dreadlocks..."
"...boisterous mass of freewheeling humanity..."
"The scent of marijuana is in the air..."
"...cyclists slam their locks onto car hoods and police make arrests amid pointed turf battles..."
"A cyclist blows kisses to glum-faced bus passengers. Another yells 'It's OK to smile!'" [By the way, the single most offensive imperative to say to anyone is "Smile!" Stop. It. Everyone. -- SFist]
"The riders swarm up Van Ness Avenue looking like Grateful Dead groupies on wheels."
"[R]iders test the limits: One sneaks up behind a bus to yank the electric cable from a power line overhead, laughing as he rides on."
"...confrontational massers are a 'testosterone brigade.'"
"A new cycling event recently was launched [in Los Angeles]...they call it Critical Manners."
"'It's been traumatic,' she said, her voice breaking. 'I've got a child standing here saying, No, Mommy. I don't want to talk about it.'"
""People have a different idea how to make life richer and more artistic and profoundly more emotional than the capitalist world wants for us.'"
"Suddenly, a woman wheels a stroller into a crosswalk as the bikes surround her. 'Stop!' she shrieks. 'I'm with a baby!'"
"The cop shrugs."
"'xerocracy'"
Photo: Chris Carlsson
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I blame Chris Daly.
"By the way, the single most offensive imperative to say to anyone is "Smile!" Stop. It. Everyone. -- SFist"
AHMEN!
Didn't Critical Manners start here - in response to the Critical Ass incident in March? Not in L.A. like the article said.
Also, the one quote from this article that really sticks out...
"San Francisco has a reputation as a contrarian place," said Carlsson, 50, a desktop publisher. "People have a different idea how to make life richer and more artistic and profoundly more emotional than the capitalist world wants for us. Critical Mass seized that spirit."
That's got to be one of the stupidest things I've heard uttered by anyone, ever. Inconveniencing a whole city, terrorizing innocent bystandards and creating anarchy makes life Richer and More Artistic, people. Shine on, Carlsson, you crazy diamond!
Surely the 'biker gangs" meme has gone stale?
Jesus, guest4, is there any room for gray in your black and white world?
Wow, Critical Mass, Blue Angels, and Chris Daly . . . it's like spring 2007 all over again.
San Francisco has a reputation as a contrarian place
No it doesn't.
I hate to sound like a typical San Franciscan, but that is such a typical Los Angelans article, it's not even funny.
Well, the Chronicle did run that Michael Bauer piece about LA restaurants a week or two back. A counterstrike was inevitable.
Oh, LA--you're just jealous. Although we are jealous of all your vaginal reconstructive surgey.
Humm whos smoking the the weed here?, sound pretty accurate to me a 30 year resident of SF. The amount of traffic these rides create and the resources to contol i.e Police overtime, DPW clean up etc... far out weight the positives the ride organizers had hoped for. Traffic creates idling cars idling cars creat pollution thus go ride your bikes somwhere else.
CM are simply a biker gang. No need for moterized transport to terroize. A gang is gang. Reminds me of the southern sterotypes.... "your type ain't welcome 'round here". However, times change, now the closed minded live here! Your type ain't wanted around here.
I have lived in the South, in New England, in the Midwest, and am from born and raised in SF, and I have to say, this is the most intolerant place I have ever been.
The strident attitude of CM members is reminesient of the Brown Shirts. It is embarassing, proto-nazis they are.
I am an avid bi-cy rider, lover, and yet, I quit fearful being lumped together.
Intolerance makes me sad. Critical mass, an intolerant orgazation makes me sad. Their inability to realize their intolerance makes me saddest.
JimmySF
CM is intolerant, but it's unfair to characterize SF by the actions of this group (as the author of this article seems to avoid doing) No war between the cities here...the author is bagging on CM, not SF.
Great point, #13. I don't mind CM, don't think much of the movement. But you're right, CM is but a very small, small, small sliver of SF.
"biker gang"... "brown shirts"... "proto-nazis"... dude, you are making my morning! Anything else? oooh ... here's something you forgot - some perspective ... intolerance makes you sad, and yet you reach right to the bottom of the shit-bag to dredge up some names to call the bicyclists. Now that's some classy San Fran, Jimmy. Way to go.
Gahd, another article on San Francisco referencing Deadheads? The cliche alone is enough to make you retch.
Yes, guest comment #3, Critical Manners did start in San Francisco, which is actually what the article says. It says "here" but "here" refers to San Francisco, the city the author is writing about, not LA where the publisher is. I think SFist misunderstood on that one.
I've ridden in both Critical Mass and Critical Manners. Critical Mass is way more of a rush and more fun. Critical Manners is way more satisfying for the soul and (oddly, considering its origins as a response to Critical Mass lawlessness) far less smugly self-righteous than Critical Mass. Critical Mass leaves mes excited but with mixed feelings. Critical Manners just feels good--I only wish more than 20 people would show up for it.
Much, if not most, of "Critical Mass" consists of transient college students, drifters, and self-righteous assholes from the East Bay.
San Francisco has a reputation as a contrarian place
No it doesn't.
Damnit, coffee on the keyboard again.
I'm all for bike riding and am rarely even in a car but Critical Mass seems to be nothing more that a ridiculous bunch of hooligans pushing people around.