The cherished Scott Beale brought to our attention the following bit of, well, awesomeness. We know, we know -- we’re no longer supposed to fall for ultra-annoying viral marketing bullshit. And producer JJ Abrams finally lost us. (Heh. Yeah. Sorry.) And, no, we have yet to see The Transformers, for which this clip is said film's trailer. But we're tired of doing the dance, so we give in, modern marketing scheme. And after several viewings, we can’t stop watching and wondering what the root cause is for this steroidal rage on poor, brittle New York City. Happy now?

Behold:

Conspiracy theories after the jump.

Since Apple is involved, surely there’s got to be a Bay Area angle in there somewhere, right? Maybe batshit-crazy Sharon Stone has come to reclaim her son from Phil Bronstein? Perhaps Carol Migden’s (presumably massive and nuclear-powered) hair dryer finally explodes? Or during a mayoral trip to the Big Apple, the "Jetty" stalls at LaGuardia and Newsom’s east coast dealer is on vacation? Has Cindy Sheehan come looking for Pelosi? These are just a few hypothetical and fictional storylines, and so are these. What are yours?