Noah's Bagels are similar to other pale imitations of a superior product: they are akin, say, to low-carb anything, sugar-free candy, Tofurkey, etc. Of course, there are decent examples of situations in which one would want to consume less sugar, carbs, or avoid meat. What's the excuse for eating bagels that are more like Wonderbread? Usually desperation. Or convenience.

Unsurprisingly, most of the the people we know that are ardently anti-Noah's tend to be our fellow Jewish types and/or New Yorkers. Both tend to take bagels seriously (of course, there's a good amount of crossover in those two groups).

Which brings us to the point: Noah's is hyping the celebration of its 18th birthday. The number 18, if you didn't know, is an important symbolic number in the Jewish tradition; it translates to "chai," or "life." When we read this news release on the wires, it struck us as a weird attempt by Noah's to re-establish its bagel bona fides with folks that consume a lot of bagels and tend to be particular about them.

Among the 18th birthday celebration, Noah's is rolling out a special coffee blend. On August 18, a cup'll cost just 18 cents.

Will invoking a Jewish tradition spur business? Will a coffee special? Ahh, neither does much to fix the issue that the bagels aren't especially good. Sorry to be such a kvetcher. We'll probably check the 18-cent coffee out, though.