July 3, 2007
Noah's Turns 18, Invokes Jewish Symbolism
Noah's Bagels are similar to other pale imitations of a superior product: they are akin, say, to low-carb anything, sugar-free candy, Tofurkey, etc. Of course, there are decent examples of situations in which one would want to consume less sugar, carbs, or avoid meat. What's the excuse for eating bagels that are more like Wonderbread? Usually desperation. Or convenience.
Unsurprisingly, most of the the people we know that are ardently anti-Noah's tend to be our fellow Jewish types and/or New Yorkers. Both tend to take bagels seriously (of course, there's a good amount of crossover in those two groups).
Which brings us to the point: Noah's is hyping the celebration of its 18th birthday. The number 18, if you didn't know, is an important symbolic number in the Jewish tradition; it translates to "chai," or "life." When we read this news release on the wires, it struck us as a weird attempt by Noah's to re-establish its bagel bona fides with folks that consume a lot of bagels and tend to be particular about them.
Among the 18th birthday celebration, Noah's is rolling out a special coffee blend. On August 18, a cup'll cost just 18 cents.
Will invoking a Jewish tradition spur business? Will a coffee special? Ahh, neither does much to fix the issue that the bagels aren't especially good. Sorry to be such a kvetcher. We'll probably check the 18-cent coffee out, though.
|
But they're still not kosher. They used to be, but did away with that when they started making things like pastrami & cheese sandwiches.
I'm still waiting for them to introduce the Briss-cuit. Hey!
Kudos for the lame attempt. But until they start boiling their bagels and rocking the kosher styles again, I'll patronize elsewhere... house of bagels on geary comes to mind.
They'll have to pay me way more than 18 cents to drink that untreated sewage they call coffee. Honestly, their coffee is a freaking travesty, especially given that all their SF locations are surrounded by Peet's and a zillion indie places that do it right.
I'm not jewish, and I'm not from New York. But I'm still very finicky about my bagels. Noah's SUCKS. Here's a shout out for Holey Bagel in Noe Valley. Great bagels.
@ Seamus: indeed, I agree -- my point in going there would be to talk about how bad it is, even at such a deal (or perhaps be pleasantly surprised). I may also be inclined to see if they let me buy a bunch to give out to folks on the street (though it'll be August and may be hot).
@ murphstahoe: Holey B. in Noe? Really? I've been like twice and wasn't too impressed, but on your recommendation, I'll gladly try it again. I'm only like a block from there anyway.
It's not that 18 translates to chai. It's that if you use traditional Hebrew numerals (which are composed of characters, not unlike Roman Numerals). The letter combination that makes the number 18 translates as chai. Since the characters are a gift from G-d, as are the Hebrew language. There is consider special significance in this number.
As for Noah's -- there like rolls with holes in them. Meh.
Odd that they would choose August 18th, A SATURDAY, to invoke a Jewish tradition. Yer, not s'posed to be spending money, even 18ยข, on the sabbath, Noah, if that IS your real name...
ps - yes - Holey Bagel on 24th (need to get 'em fresh)
And their bialys are pretty bizarre too. In NYC, biaylis have a half dollar sized indentation with onion and garlic stuff. Noah's bialys are like little onion pizzas rather than rolls with some goop in the middle. Much of my family was from Bialystock Poland from whence the bialy originated.
-marc
Bagels are one of those things that have gotten so mainstream that even non-Jewish, non-NYers can spot a bad one a mile away.
It's funny that Noah's seems to be spending a lot to keep up the marketing and gimmicks and store decorations, but the store conditions and service have gone to seed along with the product. Misplaced priorities?
It is always somewhat disconcerting to see absolutely no Ashkenazi Jews serving up bagels at Noah's.
Imagine what the food would taste like if I were serving up other people's soul food such as pupusas, chitterlings or menudo?
Not that you need to be a Jew to do this kind of work, but you've gotta have a little nachas for the art form in order to make the food taste okay.
-marc
meh, I like their bagels. fluffy little bread muffins. I grew up with 'em. so suck on that, transplants.
I like the fogscript for guests.
So SFist.
-marc
as a new york jew, I would like to say that Noah's is shameful to new york AND jews. gross. also, I still haven't found a decent bagel (and I've tried house of bagels on geary and boogie woogie bagel boy in berkeley). I bring them back from NY with me and freeze them. I have nearly a dozen in my freezer. YUM.
Wow, people on SFist manage to bash just about everything it seems. I personally like Noah's, and really don't care what some whiny New Yorkers say. Always yapping about how the pizzas no good, next they'll say "San Diego burritos" are more apt to New York tastes. This isn't New York, people have different tastes here. Deal with it.
Anyway, when I saw the headline, I immediately thought of the kid they used to have for the Noah's logo. He's older than eighteen now though, as he was in middle school class.
DC in SF: things have changed now, but Noah's used to always be closed on Saturdays. I think cause of the fact work is prohibited on the Sabbath, not due to the spending of money. And yeah, Noah is his real name. :)
18? Big whoop, they were bar mitzvahed at 13 and their aesthetic crimes against bagelhood and Yiddishkeit haven't been youthful for years...Bialystock Marc, it isn't just nachas that's needed, it's a return to their sustainable origins...but they were always steamers instead of boilers for the longer shelflife, and those shmears always tasted like schmutz...yecch...Noah Alpert and family, you told everyone it wasn't selling out but you fibbed for the lucre and it's a crappy legacy...
-bobby
"I personally like Noah's"
I'm a native Sfian too, and not a A Jew, and I think their bagels stink. And the pizza does suck here.
Alright, fine, I don't care what even natives say, if they're gunna say local food sucks. :) I really think it's a personal preference, and people gotta stop getting all crazy about how local stuff sucks (particularly if they're a transplant), when there's obviously people who completely disagree. Judging by their success, it seems less like Noah's bagels are "shameful," but more like you have no taste. Why can't folks just say it's not your cup of tea, instead of assuming your opinion is fact.
Noah's actually did the same promotion last year for their 17th birthday (i.e., $.17 for a cup of coffee). I think you're over-thinking the attempt at Jewish symbolism. That said, the Anniversary Blend that they're promoting for the next 8 weeks is actually really good. Try it!
@[18]: Nobody is denying your right to like something that sucks.