Oh No-Gurt: Local Company Recalls Soy Yogurt

To all you humans who think you are allergic to my milk: You are not allergic to my milk. You just think you are because your mother told you you were and it made you feel special at the time. I know that was a long time ago, but this message has been reinforced to you over the years by advertising, allergists, and friends with the same "intollerance". Have you ever thought that perhaps it's in their best interests for allergists to tell you that you are allergic to something? And friends just want to have something in common with you so you will stay BFF. So I encourage you to guzzle my delicious milk with abandon, after a few weeks your "symptoms" will have dissapeared and you can tell your allergist to go sell her snake oil to some other sucker. Please do this today, do you honestly think I want to walk around with these big full udders all day? Your freind, the Cow.

You're on crack, Cow. No, lactose intolerance isn't really an allergy--it's an inability to process the milk sugars. But that doesn't make it any less real.

My boyfriend suffered from horrible digestive issues until he (not his allergist or doctor or whatever) figured out it was dairy causing the problems. Once he stopped eating dairy, his problems got much, much better. He drank milk and ate cheese for years without realizing it was what was causing the problem, and he never magically developed an ability to process it.

The reality is, the majority of the world's population can't actually process lactose. It's pretty much just those of European descent who can. Being able to digest lactose is a genetic mutation that arose in that population relatively recently.