June 4, 2007
Don't Go There

Apparently the "San Francisco Festival of Fantastic Film" is ironically named, because they're going to be premiering the latest Uwe Boll tripe, "Postal," on August 11. For those of you unfamiliar, Uwe is sort of like a modern day Ed Wood, only his films aren't even unintentionally funny. He's produced one long uninterrupted string of miserable films, mostly video-game adaptations, starting with "Barschel - Mord in Genf?" and more recently "House of the Dead," "Alone in the Dark," and "BloodRayne."
We adore bad movies, to the point that our sig-other gets a look of exasperation every time we even mention "The Apple" or "Spice World" or the certain owner of some Hands of Fate. But those movies have a certain charm in their naive, wide-eyed incompetence ("now that's real girl power," Scary sighs after some lady gives birth) ... Uwe's style is more aggressive, more irritating-guest-at-party, more ENJOY YOURSELVES DAMMIT. It's scary and weird and uncomfortable and we just don't know if we can stomach it.


Wow, I'm excited to check out The Apple! Rock Star is one of my favorite bad movies. I've heard G.I. Jane is in the same vein as well.
Hah! This is the dude that likes to box his critics (and, since he was once a competitive boxer, tends to kick their asses). I think a movie ABOUT him would be brilliant (so long as he didn't direct it).
Exasperation? But there's so much we can learn from Torgo and The Master...