An Evening of Onanistic Entertainment

It's that thing you do when you're not browsing the Internet. Or maybe it's that thing you do while you're browsing the Internet. Anyway, would it kill you to get out of the house and meet some other masturbators? The 7th Annual Masturbate-a-Thon is coming up yet again (Saturday, May 26th, 2pm to midnight at The Porn Palace, 415 Jessie). Eight hours is the somewhat unhealthy-sounding record; do you dare attempt to best it? The night promises to be a star-studded extravaganza, with opera singers, furry wranglers, heroes, and commentators. You can participate at home or on-line, and it's all for charity; what possible reason can you have to resist? Oh, decency. That old thing.