We haven't done one of these columns in awhile!

--Killer squirrels on the attack! A menacing critter stomped into an open classroom in a South San Jose school and bit a first-grader on the finger and two adults in the classroom. They called 911, but when animal control arrived, the squirrel had fled -- or in their words, "He high-tailed it outta there." Har! The school took pains to say that they don't usually have a problem with vicious rodents, unlike those other attack squirrels in the Mountain View park.

--It's oysters versus baby otters in Marin County -- the environmentally-aware Drakes Bay Oyster Co. in Point Reyes is trying to figure out how they can safely harvest yummy oysters without harming the area otters' pupping grounds. There's a debate in the scientific community about whether the oyster farming is harming the otter pups or if the decline in the population is due to other factors, such as kayaks, turkey vultures, and clam diggers (the pants?).

--And Matier and Ross move from an item about Carole Migden's car to another about the Wag Hotel, a posh new dog and cat boarding kennel opening in SoMa. The rooms feature classical music piped in, and the nicer rooms have plasma TVs that play Animal Planet. You can order a doggie massage ($25 for 20 minutes), and M&R claim you can get blueberry facials for your pet too, but we didn't see that option on the website.