More mysterious criminal events in Fremont! This time, someone dropped a five-foot tall safe off a truck in the middle of the road. The safe had been pried open, revealing...... a collection of about 70 Star Wars action figures, still in their original packaging. Somewhere, a broken-hearted fan weeps.

The yutz alert is on high after the horrific Virginia Tech tragedy: the UC Berkeley law student who posted a fake threat on a blog that he/she was going to blow up rival UC law school Hastings across the bay has been referred to the FBI. That law student's not going to make it through the moral character screening for the bar exam. On a similar note, a 14-year-old in San Anselmo was referred to juvenile probation after sending an email threatening to shoot 20-30 UC Berkeley students, to an attorney who rails against violence in video games. Thanks for giving the video game guy yet another reason to complain about Grand Theft Auto, 14-year-old kid.

And hey! We finally found the Examiner's SF Police Blotter online. Bypassing the upsetting entries (man stabbed in the chest at the McDonald's on 24th Street), the most excellent entries (from last week) include: a man arrested for assaulting his wife in a dispute over the correct way to mail your taxes; a man arrested for smoking a bong at a bus stop; and 300 goats wandering aimlessly around Twin Peaks.

Picture of a mint Luke Skywalker action figure from an eBay auction -- $589.99 starting price, no bids as of the time we wrote this post.