SFist Blotter

What is it with all the hapless criminals and would-be criminals in Fremont? We should do an all-Fremont edition of the Blotter one of these weeks. Well, today's Fremont Blotter entry involves an attempted robbery of a Quiznos by a man wearing a straw sombrero, sunglasses, and gloves. The man walked in, "simulated a handgun" under his sweatshirt, and asked for cash. The employees told the man they didn't know how to open the register without making a sale, and Mr. Sombrero, frustrated, left empty-handed (but full-hatted).

Did you see about that shooting in the Tenderloin donut store? That was right by the Beyond Chron headquarters (also known as the Tenderloin Housing Clinic). Randy Shaw blames Bush. In related news, Beyond Chron's managing editor Paul Hogarth says we should rename Bush Street. He suggests naming it Moscone Street or something dignified like that, but we're totally calling it Brittanie Mountz Boulevard from here on out!

And former Niner wide receiver Antonio Bryant is due in court to face charges for speeding over 100 mph in his orange Lamborghini down 101. He was fast on the field, but not that fast! He was suspended for four games when it happened back in November, and then he was cut from the team in March.