Dear Gaviffer,
We decided not to post your picture because we've seen enough of y'all to last a lifetime. Here's Gwen Stefani's video for "Sweet Escape" instead.
As our blog hero, Perez Hilton, once said: "Jesus, get over yourselves...you're not even the poor man's TomKat!"
Whatev, we can't complain. Your inability to comprehend any humor or irony has given us the opportunity to blog about something we love even more than wonks or wonky-eyed socialites: ourselves. Duh. It's like being given a second MySpace page or something.
To clarify: we never said you needed a stylist, Jennifer. One of our readers commented that you did. We don't think you "dress poorly" -- just boring. It's a matter of personal taste. You don't see Lindsay Lohan writing comments on Perez or Gofugyourself every time they write something negative about her (though we wish she did - her frenzied BlackBerry emails are epic).
We weren't criticizing Jen for being on a budget, as SFluxe suggests. We were satirizing celebs who try prove they're "Just like Us!" by shopping at discount stores. If you look back at our Weird Coat Chronicles post, we mentioned owning a capelet from H&M.
Gavin, we're glad you don't hate being Mayor, but if you can't even date an underage girl or go to rehab properly, how can you run a major city? Ever since the sex scandal broke, you've been too uptight to let it hang, and the victim act is as tired as your beef with Dan Noyes.
You guys probably think we're hating, but the target needs to have game in order to do that. It's really not fair, what with SFist's game being as tight as Aaron Peskin's Speedo. Can we get a witness?
Luv and Houndstooth,
SFist Elaine, Fashion Correspondent
*No, we're not members of Code Pink, but Medea Benjamin is welcome to borrow our weird pink coat anytime.
PS: Huge shout-out to SFluxe for saying we display "...considerable wit for someone who went to University of Nebraska." LMAO! We totes love you guys! Making your site was almost as exciting as being on our other blog hero (and fellow Filipino) Bryanboy's website.