Thank You For Smoking

If you ever find yourself in Belmont and want to light up a cigarette, here's a word of advice: don't. Thanks to a new resolution being considered to fight second-hand smoke, the city will be the toughest on smoking anywhere. Smoking in company cars? Nope. Smoking on the sidewalk? Fuhgeddaboutit. Same with your apartment and even your home if one of your neighbors complains. If you do get caught, the anti-Smoking SWAT Team will come and get you and send you to a smoking reeducation camp where they will forcibly keep your eyes open Clockwork Orange style and make you watch the movie about the Marlboro Man until you see the evils of smoking.

The ordinance, however, isn't going down easily. Many people, including non-smokers, are thinking the measure is a little too harsh. Says a flak for the California Apartment Association, “we are in no way advocates of smoking, but we don't feel the government should be telling individuals what they should do in their homes or telling landlords ... what should be going on in their units.'' The mayor, Coralin Feierbach, says she's been receiving death threats and the occasional picture of Nazis in her e-mail.

Tonight, the Belmont City Council will have a hearing on all this, something that is expected to be a hoot and a half. Not all of the parameters have been set up so it could be as draconian as no smoking anywhere outdoors to just no smoking during certain events. The whole no smoking in your home thing could also be voted down.