Last week's winner, the Bay Guardian. Tim Redmond says the progressives need something to do (so why not run a mayoral candidate?). Too many skyscrapers. Wi-fi and sunshine laws, Ruby Rippey-Tourk, cars in Golden Gate Park, and SF is totally unprepared for global warming. The gay porn Oscars! Cover articles: Noise Pop! SFist Elaine says to check out Scissors for Lefty. Dude, there's like a review for every band playing! Yay Noise Pop! L.E. Leone goes to lunch with Lisa Jervis, co-founder of Bitch Magazine. Lucky L.E.! We're friends with Lisa and she's totally fun to go out to eat with. And Gavin Newsom's horoscope: Stop drinking so much, "lay off the chemical distractions and take a break from relationships." Michelle Tea and Jessica Lanyadoo, are you specifically writing the Libra horoscope FOR Gavin now? Next week: Libras -- Give Matt Gonzalez a big hug the next time you see him!

Next up, the SF Weekly. What's the going rate for sex with dildo accompaniment at kink.com? Also, more piling on the Chron about the sleazy BALCO leaker. A.C. Thompson on the AIMCO housing issues in Hunter's Point. We're glad he's covering this -- it came up at the Second Fake Question Time and we didn't know anything about it. Cover article: Earl Sanders's career, through the lens of a new book about a racially-motivated SF serial killer in the 70s (the Zebra murders, not Zodiac). Margaret Cho does burlesque today and a movie about hippies next Tuesday. Okay, this is a funny pull quote for the Number 23 movie review: "The plot comes down to this. Omigod! 23! Omigod, 23!!! Omigod, 23!!!" Meredith goes to Upper Noe Valley, and SFist Ced can't find anything to complain about. Noise Pop. And foosball.

After the jump: the San Jose Metro, the East Bay Express (and its MUST-READ article. MUST READ!!!!), the Weekly of the Week, and the YTD count..

The San Jose Metro: Gary Singh is hurt that there's a MySpace group called "I Hate San Jose." Lisa Nowak, striking a (diapered) blow for dangerous women everywhere. Wow, there's a stir in the District 6 race in San Jose too! Oh, it brings back such fond memories of covering the Daly-Black race. Scammers on eBay. Men wearing pink. Cover article: excerpt from a memoir about growing up black in San Jose. How come Gary Singh's not all mad at her for hating San Jose? Crazy Indian pizza. And whoa! Provocative picture of male buttocks in the dance review! (You'll have to get a hard copy of the paper, though.) And who wrote the melody to the tune "There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance"?

And the East Bay Express: Save Berkeley Iceland! Why can't they just move the Cal football stadium to McAfee Park after the As leave? That's a provocative idea! Cover article: The trials and tribulations of a local chef trying to make hospital food taste good. That should totally be a Top Chef challenge! It's tough to be hapa (half-Asian). Cabbage-y Mandarin food in Berkeley. Okay, ***STAR STAR STAR***. YOU MUST READ THIS REVIEW OF LOU REED'S TAI CHI VIDEO!!!!!!!! Destined to become a classic. Also, we are totally buying that video. And Noise Pop.

Weekly of the Week: Could it be anyone other than the weekly that produced the brilliance that is the review of Lou Reed and Master Ren's tai chi video????? "That's not the same note!!!!" Also, the phrase "Lou-Tang clan" -- hilarious. Hilarious! Expect to see this review in that "2007's Best Music Writing" anthology at the end of the year, like that Onion article about Marilyn Manson going door-to-door to shock people.

YTD count: Guardian: 3; EBX: 2; SF Weekly: 2; Metro: 1.