--This morning, ESPN's Len Pasquarelli is reporting that "sources" say that the 49ers' prized offensive coordinator Norv Turner will be the new coach of the San Diego Chargers, to which we say noooooo. Damn right that when he became the Niner OC we were concerned considerin' his track record of failure as a Head Coach... yet as the 49ers' offensive guru in 2006, Norv presided over a fantastic improvement in the Niners' scoring attack, much as he had masterminded Dallas' potent "Triplets" offense in the '90s. Shockingly, at the 2006 season's end, we didn't want to see Norv go anywhere -- we want him right here coaching up QB Alex Smith and our guys. The Cowboys' job opening came and went; those wily "sources" had Norv the front runner for that position too, right up until they introduced Wade Phillips as their new Head Coach. So we hope the same mistake is being made, and that people are just feeding the redoubtable Pasquarelli half-hoped info. Gawd, a year ago we would never have seen ourselves saying this, but please, Norv, stay. Stay.

--As of now ('round 10:50 AM) there's still no word at all about any Head Coach-type-hirin' on chargers.com or in any San Diego outlets... click here for a fresh Google News search. Other minor news sources are parroting the rumor as though it were confirmed. Wait for NFL.com to call it one way or another.

Photo above of an assertive Norv from Silver & Black Illustrated Online

--How happy is Barry Bonds right now? He was sighted at the NBA All-Star Game in Vegas (The West All-Stars won by a lot, whatevs.), and deigned answer a few questions through what looked like a sincere smile (?!). Well, it's good that he's enjoying himself. The 2007 baseball season's grim death march towards one of America's most hallowed records is going to be rife with mercilessly pointed questions, hovering reporters, and glowering talking heads hungry for The Story. More than ever before, we don't envy the useless MLB Commissioner Bud "Shemp" Selig. What if Bonds finally breaks Hank Aaron's all-time home runs record? How does a league properly celebrate a player as utterly under a cloud of suspicion as Bonds is? Seriously though, Bonds isn't under a cloud of suspicion; we might as well call him Lando 'cause he's been livin' in Cloud City for years now...

--Yesterday, ESPN's grand lipless Peter Gammons may have summed up the contradictions as well as any when he called Bonds "the best player of the steroid era."

--Tim "I hate gay people" Hardaway keeps on apologizing. No one thinks his apologies are sincere. Shrug.

Photo below from dallasstars.com: Dallas' Mike Modano looks past San Jose #9 winger Milan Michalek. That's Shark captain Patrick Marleau in back.

--The Sharks lost 2-5 to the Dallas North Stars, but at least they finally scored after two straight games of being shut out. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to score a single goal in the National Hockey League? These gentlemen are professionals. They get out there and work at their craft day after day. Ice skating is hard; look at what it did to Michelle Kwan!